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Who says?


I cant express myself saying it exactly as it is?

Who says I should live my life scared?

If GODb4mi...Wu u fit b?

Ragga boi.

Ragga boi.
Bad guy somebori

Tuesday 9 December 2008

Another mini series-Crazy Psychotic Bitch.

Now I had to wait for permission to be able to blog about this...and Now I can,
I also had to travel a distance to get this jist first hand, the things I do for gbeborun. lol. enjoy.

My friend has been single for some time now well not exactly single, miss wifey has been in Jand for a bit leaving Mr Brother all hard and dry and in need of a good good lay, well he sure has been singing it into our ears for a while now such that we started to pray he find someone just as horny as he was, well our prayers were answered or where they?

You see, Mr Bro works in a bank, so this particular day, this 'customer' comes searching for a colleague, Mr Bro with his eyes filled with spermatozoa claims to have seen nothing but her booty, well long and short Mr Colleague passes Crazy psychotic bitch henceforth CPB to Mr Bro. ho ho ho merry Christmas!

Well he calls her up last Saturday morning, just for small talk by 6.30 shes in Lekki on her way to his crib 7.30 they are watching Prison Break already...8.30 she hungry fine no shakings lets go grab some food...

she drops her Bag behind...hmmm?

Drive to the eatery, she orders Take away...hmmmm?

Drive Back to his place, 10.30 already aint no way bitch (his words not mine) is going home tonight. mind y'all Mr Bro is still blind in the eye abi?

okay so she eating, he watching P break, they having a conversation when all of a sudden she leans in and kisses him.

"what the hell was that for"? he asks

"Just saying thank you is all"

"Bitch all I bought was rice, if I threw in a burger, what would you give me?"

she done eating in a bit and then they start some real real rough play when suddenly...

She putting up resistance

we shouldn't be doing this, I don't want to get hurt,I just broke up with my boyfriend, I don't want this yet.

WTF?

Bitch please, you knew you was going to get laid thats why you dropped your purse and didnt go home. alright Im not in d mood for this, what side of the Bed you want? fine

GBAM! My guy crashes. I'm too old for this bull shit he's thinking.

The end?

Ye right!

My guy says at about 2ish, he feels Junior start to stir. eyes open CPB in her birthday suit, jacking him off .

"Wait a minute, thought you said you didn't want this..."

"Well Just for tonight, I want to feel loved, just tonight, I always do the right things, Just tonight, i want to be bad"

"Well Bitch I dont care if you want to be Micheal Jackson, GET OVER HERE"

with some mortal Kombat moves...

He fucked her with reckless abandon

his words not mine.

She cried, he wasn't even listening "wait" he didn't "take it easy" he didn't "please don't stop!" he didn't

"Bad, it was for me, all for me, I didn't care if she came or not, I just needed mine, the girl was talking bullshit, I couldn't care less...I forked her!"

I felt bad for the girl until I heard the rest of the jist.

Well that session ended and he crashed, morning came time to look at the girl better...ewww! DISCHARGE TIME only she wasn't leaving.

So he is on his laptop waiting for girl to go take a bath and bounce when she comes and grabs his deeck

" Last night was for you, this is mine" she proceeds to forking him but my guy na bad guy, he no gree starts to deal with with her again, dayyum she ugly...TURN AROUND girl (Im told that works all the time) so he's hitting it form the back till she yells

"TELL ME YOU LOVE ME"

"Bad talk about a deeck going soft, I lost it meen, it just shriveled meen"

so he uses everything but his deeck, bitch come and come and go...

she came, once, twice, the third time, he puts his deeck back in and she comes the fourth time (Bravo bravo bravo!) he feels like givving himself a apt on the back only problem is she aint leaving after that...that amaaazzing fork.

Wahala!

My guy says she swept his WHOLE apartment, dusted, did the dishes, carried FOUR 25 litres kegs of water effortlessly from DOWNSTAIRS...

Made him Fork her yet again...in the shower!

AH!

the phone calls were crazy.

"Bad where you dey? I beg you dey come my house now now! I need help o!"

I couldn't make it. somehow somehow with the help of another friend of ours he got rid of CPB.

you would think thats the end of the story, Na lie!

Im tired jo

Wash out for part 2!

42 comments:

Rebirth said...

where ve u been? off to read!

Rebirth said...

wow, talk about a desperate babe...... oga o
tell me she's now a stalker!

~Sirius~ said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

WTH!!!
we should always be careful what we wish for.......

Roll out Pt. 2 Pls.

Afrobabe said...

lmao...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa babe dusted and cleaned everywhere abi....ee good for am sef....

Babe don access the house see where she go like to hang her pic...can't believe u didn't tell me u updated last night....

CaramelD said...

Oh Oh Oh !!!! I'm at my office giggling like mad! My week is never complete without one pyscho girl story! Guys better watch out! Last month my friend needed three guys to persuade his psycho girl to leave LOL

wordsmith said...

all i gat to say is hahahahahahahahaha

teecity said...

r u for real? did it all happen? WOW! well dats wat u get wen u ask for a little sometimes its too much.......lmao thou.

hurry wit part 2. we shuld hook up for d holidy wat do u tink?

ibiluv said...

you for give the guy me number?
i need to be had........like that

i promise i dont need to be fed

and i leave soon as i get a few good orgasms..........*wink*

musco said...

O ga o!

Unknown said...

u r crazy
but then that's why we love you
'badder'

Jaguda said...

i am waiting waiting waiting. steamy !!!!!!!!!! big time punny spanking

badderchic said...

@ Funms-the rebirth

stalker na underestimation.

@ ~Sirius~

you can say that again.

@Afrobabe

no vex o! my sister.

No be only photo o! this one don almost measure curtain finish lol

@ CaramelD

May we never be psycho bitches...sombody say AMEN! lol

@ wordsmith
me sef still dey laff

@ teecity

As in I shit you not, no be small tin o!abi na, we should hook up, where you go carry me go? lol

@ ibiluv

IBILUV better be careful what you wish for. lol

I sigh, as in the orgasms sound sooo enticing abi? lol

@ musco

where have you been? it is really really tall o!

Unknown said...

u r crazy again

bArOquE said...

LMAO @ "Bitch all I bought was rice, if I threw in a burger, what would you give me?"

why did she have to be ugly?...mnwhile, i came here when it was 0 comments oh...hehehehe

see eh, i like this Mr.Broda oh...my kinda guy...hasnt he got 'sistaz' in town?...i've got a handful of babes that would love to come help me get rid of unwanted stayoverz...

GOSH@my apartment getting cleaned & not by me...this is major LilMissPsycho oh

abeg no tire, try continue the story

Lolia said...

So this is my first time here...you're too funny abeg...you remind me of one of my friends :)

But yup, yup...continue the story...mush appreciated...tenx.

Buttercup said...

lmao! jeez..

"TELL ME YOU LOVE ME" haaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Ms.O said...

hahahah!!!!...DESPERADO IS HER NAME!!! LOOOOOOOOL!!

Toluwa said...

Damn she really needed hers..shit! lmao tho! i guess deeck was good, she actually swept! LMAO!

poeticallytinted said...

Ohmigosh! That was one swell story! The telling was even crazier than the gist! Part 2 ASAP!

Chris Ogunlowo said...

Damn, you're one funny babe!

Smaragd said...

Whoa! ahoy there captain Crazy psycho Bitch! u've got to be keeding Badder...did this really happen? i fear for Monsieur Lonely's life gan!

Ade said...

Men....badderchic I no fit talk...did this actually happen? Nna men...what about our actors wife? lol...enuff stiz for naija men...

Anonymous said...

who begged him too? he should deal now or forever hold his ***k.
;)

badderchic said...

@ Tisha
you know how i do now...lol

@ bArOquE
Trust you to notice those lines, you sef don use am before? lol

As in the girl wowo o no be small,I go continue in a bit

@ Lolia

welcome dear

@ Buttercup

scary ye?

@ Ms.O
you can say that again

@ Just...Toluwa

SHE ACTUALLY SWEPT!

@ poeticallytinted

Yes ma!

@ AlooFar

Thanks love

@ Smaragd

As in it is still happening!

@ wavemasta

the wife dey chop cold for jand o!

@ geisha.song.

Why noow? body is not a firewood na lol

NoLimit said...

I am LAFFING like crazeee!
This has got to be fiction!hee hee hee!!!

badderchic said...

@ Nolimit

Fiction ke? I SAY IT IS STILL HAPPENING

Anonymous said...

Hillarious to a fault.... Guess they failed to define the limits before diving in.... Babe and Dude had expectations that did not exactly jive... Swept and cleaned everywhere? Na to pack enter house come remain o.....

Zena said...

Hasn't guy watched fatal attraction? or swimfan? after does movies I wouldn't even try fucking a stranger who couldn't get a prostitute?

I can only imagine what else she's going to do...clean, dust? I dey fear already

bArOquE said...

bad pikin, abeg try finish this story...

tommeh said...

Oh Snap! U surely are keepin' it real..

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Lmao!!!!!!
why do girls trip like that?
if you want to get laid
you want to get laid
end of

Naija Idol said...

the girl desperate nor be small. shabi e eye don clear now. lol. w8ing for part 2.

ShonaVixen said...

LMAO...So is she now stalking him...how many litres of water she carry????Must have been some ultra-explosive ish i guess...lol

wellsbaba said...

ROTFLMAO!!! DIS GIRL U HAV STARTED AGAIN!!!

Tyger said...

lmao takiti

i am laffing so hard....

@carried 4 25 litre kegs up the stairs!!

all that nonsense resistance was for show! idiot!

lol

InCogNaija said...

tew funny!!!

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

crazy bitch indeed. some pple dont knw wen to leave. original wtf material. lol!!! 4 kegs of water up the stairs??? no wonder her ex broke up with her. am sure she choked the life outta him.

crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

LG said...

Hellooooooooooo' anybodi home?????
i ve got sum hampers 4 u :)
*merry christmas

The Boob Sistas said...

ROTFLMAOPIMP (PIMP-Peeing In My Pants...err not literally)!!! And yes i just leart it!!! LOL!!! You haven't changed girl. You're still as mad funny and crazy as ever!!!

But if she was so ugly, how come he managed all those rounds? Hope he used a condom though...make he no go give him innocent wife.

Merry Christmas babes. xoxo

miz-cynic said...

lmao at d 4 25 litres keg of water carrying,she dey try 2 gym

miz-cynic said...

lmao at d 4 25 litres keg of water carrying,she dey try 2 gym

Ladies Confessions said...

ROTMFFLOL