Almost Christmas.

My personal people first things first, Make una no vex, time no too dey my side.

wrapping up on stuff, CPB don turn crase, she has been showing up unexpectedly, letting herself in while my guy is asleep, tried raping him a couple of times, asked people to please excuse them so they can fork, cooking my guy food, walking in and making herself comfortable kinda shit, yes o! she don turn stalker.

My guy is not such a nice guy though, he disses her every opportunity he gets, telling her how dense she is et al.

the girl go quiet, Call the next day saying she knows he didn't really mean all he said yesterday and she forgives him. WAHALA!

when we finally bounce her I go let una know. lol

On a thankful side, GOD did the biggest for me a couple of days ago. I thank him for it. make una join me thank Baba J o! as in he fulfilled my innermost desire and fought for me when humans tried to pull me down. truly, who God has blessed no man can curse. I asked for 10 things, I have gotten two don't mean I wont dance like David Danced. (no its nothing you are thinking, I haven't been proposed to don't ask what Just thank him for me.)

When it comes to Man, I have not been totally honest with yall, okay not dishonesty, just time. I just didn't have time to blog about him and before I could, he don hurt me waka.

That that don't kill me only makes me stronger abi?

We kinda hooked up real quick, (he used ogboju o!) he was everything I wanted and much more, one day a couple of weeks later, he decided to get back with the ex. leaving me feeling like I had just been duped,419ed S'all gud ainnit? I hurt but I was alright, my question remains though

"why the hell did you now bother me in the first place?"

God bless him for making hurt.

I hung out with Ade from a couple of posts ago, Harmless flirting, remember him? well apparently just ex boyfie saw us, was at the same place as we us, I didn't see him, he had his fill watching us. funnily enough all the while I was with Ade I kept thinking about just ex boyfie can you imagine?

He calls me that night number blocked and tries to form activity, I hung up. he called back and tried to apologize, I wasn't listening, the next day, I called him and cursed him well, "Fuck you Fuck you and Fuck you" I say, truth is I'm usually quiet when it comes to man issue and his wahala so that was shocking for him I guess, he wants us to hook up so we can 'talk' as no be phone jist.

NO! I say

'you dont have a choice' he says

"Yes I do"

"okay you do, just please lets talk"

I want to yet I don't want to. I miss him soo bad yet he was the one who hurt me. na wa o!

ke sera sera.

Okay for Christmas, I want Baroque on a platter...Maybe not.

for Christmas, I would please like a new laptop. God will do am.

I also want to love and be loved.

finally I would like a MAN to fork my brains out. ouch did I say that? well I no sabi lie, twould be nice if a man who loved me actually did, it would be more than nice....

Maybe I should just stick to wanting a laptop.

Merry Christmas peoples, I love you guys!

Another mini series-Crazy Psychotic Bitch.

Now I had to wait for permission to be able to blog about this...and Now I can,
I also had to travel a distance to get this jist first hand, the things I do for gbeborun. lol. enjoy.

My friend has been single for some time now well not exactly single, miss wifey has been in Jand for a bit leaving Mr Brother all hard and dry and in need of a good good lay, well he sure has been singing it into our ears for a while now such that we started to pray he find someone just as horny as he was, well our prayers were answered or where they?

You see, Mr Bro works in a bank, so this particular day, this 'customer' comes searching for a colleague, Mr Bro with his eyes filled with spermatozoa claims to have seen nothing but her booty, well long and short Mr Colleague passes Crazy psychotic bitch henceforth CPB to Mr Bro. ho ho ho merry Christmas!

Well he calls her up last Saturday morning, just for small talk by 6.30 shes in Lekki on her way to his crib 7.30 they are watching Prison Break already...8.30 she hungry fine no shakings lets go grab some food...

she drops her Bag behind...hmmm?

Drive to the eatery, she orders Take away...hmmmm?

Drive Back to his place, 10.30 already aint no way bitch (his words not mine) is going home tonight. mind y'all Mr Bro is still blind in the eye abi?

okay so she eating, he watching P break, they having a conversation when all of a sudden she leans in and kisses him.

"what the hell was that for"? he asks

"Just saying thank you is all"

"Bitch all I bought was rice, if I threw in a burger, what would you give me?"

she done eating in a bit and then they start some real real rough play when suddenly...

She putting up resistance

we shouldn't be doing this, I don't want to get hurt,I just broke up with my boyfriend, I don't want this yet.

WTF?

Bitch please, you knew you was going to get laid thats why you dropped your purse and didnt go home. alright Im not in d mood for this, what side of the Bed you want? fine

GBAM! My guy crashes. I'm too old for this bull shit he's thinking.

The end?

Ye right!

My guy says at about 2ish, he feels Junior start to stir. eyes open CPB in her birthday suit, jacking him off .

"Wait a minute, thought you said you didn't want this..."

"Well Just for tonight, I want to feel loved, just tonight, I always do the right things, Just tonight, i want to be bad"

"Well Bitch I dont care if you want to be Micheal Jackson, GET OVER HERE"

with some mortal Kombat moves...

He fucked her with reckless abandon

his words not mine.

She cried, he wasn't even listening "wait" he didn't "take it easy" he didn't "please don't stop!" he didn't

"Bad, it was for me, all for me, I didn't care if she came or not, I just needed mine, the girl was talking bullshit, I couldn't care less...I forked her!"

I felt bad for the girl until I heard the rest of the jist.

Well that session ended and he crashed, morning came time to look at the girl better...ewww! DISCHARGE TIME only she wasn't leaving.

So he is on his laptop waiting for girl to go take a bath and bounce when she comes and grabs his deeck

" Last night was for you, this is mine" she proceeds to forking him but my guy na bad guy, he no gree starts to deal with with her again, dayyum she ugly...TURN AROUND girl (Im told that works all the time) so he's hitting it form the back till she yells

"TELL ME YOU LOVE ME"

"Bad talk about a deeck going soft, I lost it meen, it just shriveled meen"

so he uses everything but his deeck, bitch come and come and go...

she came, once, twice, the third time, he puts his deeck back in and she comes the fourth time (Bravo bravo bravo!) he feels like givving himself a apt on the back only problem is she aint leaving after that...that amaaazzing fork.

Wahala!

My guy says she swept his WHOLE apartment, dusted, did the dishes, carried FOUR 25 litres kegs of water effortlessly from DOWNSTAIRS...

Made him Fork her yet again...in the shower!

AH!

the phone calls were crazy.

"Bad where you dey? I beg you dey come my house now now! I need help o!"

I couldn't make it. somehow somehow with the help of another friend of ours he got rid of CPB.

you would think thats the end of the story, Na lie!

Im tired jo

Wash out for part 2!

Meeting KAY SHAWN.

"you are only crazy about the cunning linguist because you havent met me"

this was waiting patiently for my approval, stupid boy that Kayshawn, making mouth virtually. lol

would I like to meet another blogger?

honestly I really dunno. ironically I have had but a bad experience with a blogger, its just one blogger Im not in touch with after having met, not mine fault guys not mine at all.

Okay someone asked where Ozaveshe is on my page, the boy hasnt come to comment so as to make the story sweet. well in his words, the cunning linguist is carefully thinking on what to write, well while he is thinking, I have written another post. lol

Oza and I are slowly building our friendship, he really is a very good friend to have, and I really am lucky to have him as a friend and vice versa, unfortunately, well for those who got popcorn waiting to see a love story unfold and fortunately for you Bumight who wants him for herself, we that is Oza and I are gravitating towards an extremely platonic friendship/relationship dont get it twisted he really is all that and a bag of chips and we all know I am hot while you are not lol but really, I see us as extremely good friends, which is what we seem to be, what we are getting at.

there are some people you respect too much to want to spoil it all with sex, well Oza is one of em, its been what? 3weeks? but ehn even I dont understand it our level of friendship .

so if you want Oza? see me, I fit to organise the sometin.

Im sure Baroque would be happy reading this, cuz I know he wants me scratch that needs me hehehehe

Kayshawn. wait your turn and join the queue jo! lol

Happy new month peoples, I miss yall loads, especially Mz Dee.

like Geisha said...On the first day of christmas....