So Invisible Inspired this.
I cant exactly stand the reccession in blogsville either, whats happnin to us guys?
you need to read invisibles post its hilarious. makes me wanna say;
My friends had been goin on and on about some strip clubs in gidi, I had never been and being a gbeborun, inquisitive somebody I had been making noise in their ears about how I wanted to follow, why didnt they take me before?
That particular friday we had a gig to be at but got bored early into it. I was sooo mad as in after getting dressed to go out the tin don dey dull like that kin 12. the next thing was to go home and sleep abi? naw! my boys had a better idea.
So we get there and Im the only girl with like 5 boys, luckily as usual Im all dressed up like one of em so nothing like anyone mistaking me for a hustler...or so I thought.
We pay to get in and almost immediately Im engulfed by all the smoke, that place was darn hot, too may people in one room, suffocating.
it must have been the suffocation that made me want to pee cuz I had to go and I had to go fast. the toilet was descpicable but meen I have seen worse.
I get out and I cant find my boys ALL FIVE OF EM! AH! mo gbe. I whip out my phone and Im calling when this drunk ass,halitosis harborin, native and cap wearing, ugly as fork, cousin of Gollum bitch ass morafoka walks to me and tries to pull my arm, Ol boy me sef fear from the bad eye wey I give am, he's still trying to touch me, I muster ALL the phonee in my body to tell him that if he touches me, he will die. ol boy na so the guy start tell me sey im be counsellor for im constintuency as in ewwww what the fork! luckily for me, one of the boys came back to get me.
the show was eww, ,at that point two girls were supposed to be doing a 69 on stage with a dildo but it was ewww, they had no idea! they were faking it as in the expressions on their faces was dumb. ugly ass girls dey waka with white bra and pant talk sey na bikini, there was even one that looked 4 months to due date and had local tattoos of coconut trees on her stomach, I was distressed.
there was now one multiheterosexual, bisexual, monosexual girl there, ol boy the girl was sick! a customer, she was getting a lap dance from a stripper, slapping the asses of any stripper that dared walk past, getting her boobs sucked from the guy she came there with, putting her flashlight in the strippers ass, sucking another strippers boobs, it was a sight! at first I dey shy to look but I noticed one of my boys had turned his chair and was looking at them full, when I pulled him, he told me say na strip club, if dem no wan make person see them dem go do am for house.
like all that wasnt enough the idiotic Dj kept on playing Whitney's your love is my love and kept on going back on ''If tomorow was judgement day" odikwa very unfunny, I was thinking if rapture should come NOW, wetin I for talk? this place no worth am naa.
the coconut bearing girl now had one baba mufutau oko Iya basira look alike customer, following her up and down, as in they would go to the corner and he would proceed to squeezing the living day lights out of her breasts, the guy had this nackson look, it was disgusting. after the dance she would now wear her payint back right there and then. HA!
It was upsetting, that my first trip to a strip club woulda been such a disaster as in NOT ONE of the girls was fine, NOT ONE! mo fe le ma sunkun.
we left there disgusted as in even the guys were disgusted, straight home to sleep and try to block the omages from my mind.
potopoto, yanmayanma girls.
I cant express myself saying it exactly as it is?
Who says I should live my life scared?
If GODb4mi...Wu u fit b?
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
So Invisible Inspired this.
Posted by badderchic at 04:32
Thursday, 16 October 2008
My Personal peoples,
Blogsville, I don miss una gaaaan!
unfortunately I might not have beeg entirely honest...WAIT! dont take away my honest blogger award just yet.
I havent blogged in a bit not because I still been feeling the blues...nah! Ive been mad busy. Yes I have been feeling better just being too busy to blog as in belee that. By not bogging I just might have given you the impression I was still feeling down and thats not true. ema binu! lol
I am stunned, put up a post just becos of me? I waas feeling every inch of a princess. thank you for all em birthday wishes it was a blast guys, ill give you the jist a lil bit.
TRUTH BE TOLD...
I learnt a couple of years ago that when it comes to man and woman matter the best thing to do is MIND MY FORKING BUSINESS so guys I wonder...is this one of those times? errrrm HELL YE! theres so much to say, so little time by the way mz Dee I miss you o! you too invisible and Afro.
well the situation on ground is that...
Friend A and Friend B are my friends but they dont know each other. Ive known friend B longer but Im closer to friend A well, friend A tells me last week that she forked friend A's Brother in law. i.e Friend B's sisters husband. (she met the guy randomly)
I HAVE NO IDEA WHY SHE DUNNIT honestly guys, like Mario I dont wanna know as in I cant start to imagine why but as for me and my house we shall mind our business. how the hell am I supposed to say it
"errm friend B, you know that my friend A? that Im always talking about? well she been balling your nephews daddy...hehehehe" olorun maje abi pples wat do you think?
on the other hand TRUTH BE TOLD why does sex have to be so complicated? is it so difficult to understand sometimes that I just wanna fork you?
I lost a good friend of mine just cuz we forked I mean, its not mine fault, he decided to take a walk, dunno wassup with him on the inside, he prob thinks Im gonna get clingy and sheet but dude "I just felt like it and you was there so we dunnit! does it have to be so complicated?"
TRUTH BE TOLD
I met baldy a couple of weeks ago, Lordy lordy lordy he soooooooooo sexy but erm...I just want to fork him. well that makes two of us! hehehehe
baldy starts to piss me off with the "we cant get emotional and sheet" sturvs even after we had agreed on our 'arrangement' trust me and my big mouth i told him
"baldy, I dont want to marry you, dayyum, I dont even want to be your girlfriend, I just want to fork you! is that sooooo difficult to comprehend?"
lol. I really did say it, over the phone, in front of my born again older cousin, i reckon her mouth stayed open for days. lol
TRUTH BE TOLD
there is someone I do want to date and get emotional with but errm you know how it is, I dey fear to tell am lol. I have desisted from keeping his number and I look forward to seeing him once every two weeks whenever I do a meet with our circle of friends, then I go all mushy and stuff ater which I forget him or at least try. lol
EWOOOOOOOOO from I dont have time to a semi long post lol. hope I have satisfied y'all, Im still reppin abi?
Bloggers All, I miss and love you guys and errm spread the word...
THE BAD'CHAIRLADY IS BACK!
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
For starters, I'm grateful for the calls, text messages and mails.
I'm grateful for the comments, the words of advice, I'm grateful for them all.
Last year, I sat in my room, the eve of my birthday, sad. midnight I started to cry as though I was an egbere (those mythical creatures that are said to crfy once you take their mats which supposedly supply wealth to the taker of the mat or somin of the sort) I cried till my eyes were bloodshot (take note Im not a crying person usually)
it seemed everything was wrong, all my plans, you know the ones that I made when I was sixteen? well they weren't going according to book, I wasn't married, didn't have no kid, my career wasn't where I wanted it to be couldn't afford a trip on my own, couldn't as much as do half the things I had thought I could do. My friend called, the one whom in my previous post I said has relocated? well he called and told me
"Bad, you be fool! wetin dey cry you? you never marry so?
you no get pikin so? ehn you no get the kin money wey you want and so diafore?
you dey hung? you no get cloth? okay you no get your own personal motor, you dey waka?no be cab you dey enter? your padis no dey carry you? I say you be fool.
na water plenty for ya eye, you no know wetin dey do you. needless to say I believed him and stopped crying but at the back of my mind I know what was going on there.
Happy Birthday to me I thought and wept some more.
later in the day I had a real reason to cry. you see last year I spent the day in a home in my neighbourhood, I saw children not up to a year old who didn't have hands, feet, who couldnt talk, crawl let alone stand, they had done nothing to no one yet they suffered so much so so much pain...I truly was a fool. babies whose mothers had discarded them like garbage, who hadnt been given a chance...I mean call me fool again.
me wey don fork fork fork, abuse abuse abuse, tif meat for pot, seduce man, coveted my neighbors convertible, said "I swear to God" me wey don lie "Im in London when i truly was in Osapa London, na so dem dey roam phone? me wey don fight my momsie tire, me who had said it wasnt me when truly it was, Me who had worked on the sabbath, place less important things before he who is all knowing, me wey dey watch people fight add salt and pepper join "EHN! did you hear what he said? if na me I go SLAP AM!" me the sinner.
God had blessed me in short over blessed me and yet I was still sad, everybody dont call me Timaya or badder call me fool!"
even as I sit in the same spot as I was last year, with the same situations as in I trip e be like say I'm in pause mode, even as I stay here wondering and getting close to tears again as to when stuff will move for me, I kneel and sing thank you Lord, I really am blessed beyond measure, I might not have it all but I have him!
My birthday comes a day after Naapali's, in exactly 10days, I am not excited as I used to be as a child but lord knows I am grateful, no matter what I face ESPECIALLY when trouble comes my way I will praise the lord.
So Naapali...all those are born in October, Stand up, Stand up!