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Who says?


I cant express myself saying it exactly as it is?

Who says I should live my life scared?

If GODb4mi...Wu u fit b?

Ragga boi.

Ragga boi.
Bad guy somebori

Wednesday 19 December 2007

My Wish List (borrowed from uunaked)

I wish I'll be more appreciated for wat I do...

I wish To be closer to my creator...

I wish my brother will be done from med sch...

I wish to find love(even tho Im not so sure it still exists)...

I wish all my family get their hearts desire...

I wish to be fulfilled...

I wish to have a proper relationship. Someone I can be faithful to (and vice versa) someone i could wear like as breast plate, someone i could be loyal to, depend on, cry freely to (when it hurts inside), make love to (not have sex with) without wondering when next? tell the truth to, be honest with, talk to, laugh with, have breakfast with, have lunch with, have dinner with, cook for + with , wash with, get naughty with, build things together with, and say those quite difficult to say words to. I want to enjoy a proper relationship for once. And have someone give back same stuffs...

I wish to be happy FOREVER.

Tuesday 11 December 2007

Forgive me...

Forgive me I went away without any prior notice

forgive me I absconded, like I was to blame

forgive me I jumped bail, forgive me I set sail, forgive me pls dont wail.

Forgive me I had to work, Forgive me I had to think, forgive me I had to understand

what really drove me to the brink.

forgive me I was happy, forgive me I was sad,forgive me I as esctatic, forgive me I cried, forgive me I prayed, forgive me I played

forgive me my cousin had a baby, forgive me another got married, age 34 she finally tied the knot. I danced and danced I danced a whole lot.

forgive my Isp, its so messed up, forgive me I changed jobs, forgive me wish I could tell all

Forgive me I had sex, so hard it felt like punishment, Ild ask im to punish me for you again but he's somewhere gettin a hold of himself.

Forgive me I lost a friend, forgive me I gained 3 back, Forgive me I really did miss you, forgive me I did think of you, forgive me I needed you, forgive me I still need you. forgive me...

cally-waffybabe
Naapali
Zephi
unshined congo
Yosh
princessa
Kaydee
Obinwanne
Porter deHarqourt
Mrs S
Black Man
The Last King Of Scotland
Sunshine
CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS
N.I.M.M.O
exschoolnerd
and all my oda blog family

Forgive me for it might seem, I let all the anons get to me,

forgive me give me some time, forgive me my mouth still tastes of lime.

Sunday 21 October 2007

Post Mortem.

Once a place that felt like home
blogsville, a place i loved like home
though most of us anonymous
it didnt matter we found hearts synonymous
we laughed, we cried, we worried
we cared, we were scared, we bared.

Now like the whole world around us
we have terrorists terrorising us
they force their opinions in our face
not caring about what we have to say
they tell us how to live our lives
at the same time asking us not to tell them how to live theirs
Ironic, Psychotic.

I will not restrict my blog
for i know its therapy for a whole lot of y'all
I will not shut down my blog,
'dont frustrate me' thats whats written on my mug.
I have not made up my mind what to do
i hurt and i ask "how could you?"
for what reasons would you take it away?
you satisfied? you well fed? you soak away?

The warmth we feel slowly turns to cold,
Our emotions now difficult to let show
what use then is my bloggin?
this world i have come to love-in.

To the memory of CWB and Unshined's blogs
now i know why Baba Alaye left us all
My favourite pple in Blogsville
Shut down... Fork this!

Like Lazarus's sister i await your awakening
I will wait, in the oven like i was baking.

Sunday 14 October 2007

12th October.

6am No Not the alarm, not not the alarm!

I felt the kisses on my neck first, they trailed down to my breasts, hmmm this dream sweet o! so sweet, I seem to be letting go of a bit too much nectar, i turn and feel the weight on me, my eyes flutter open and all i can see is your head doing the up and down movement...Aha! i see Taiwo and Kehinde are the ones getting all the attention this mornin. "hmmm" i couldnt help but moan, you look up at me. "mornin babe happy birthday, how you feeling?" I want to tell you i felt like my heart was about to burst, i cant explain that sweet sweet feeling i feel, i cant explain the way my head spins right now, i feel like Cinderella, snow white and al em darn princesses rolled into one. i feel ontop of the world! i cant say that so i say what i do know how to say..." I feel a certain want only you can give"
you smile that mischevious smile of yours and say " you want me dont you?"
LIKE DUH!
Slowly this morning, im thinking, lets take it slow, different from the usual, youve got to be telephatic as you take my twin orbs into your hands, "beautiful" you say...
I know I think.
you kiss them one after the other licking on my nipples...sheet! im loving this, i really am!
good ain it?" you ask. you know it is and you know i love it when you say "ain' it". you scroll down on me and you start to lick beneath my breasts, you slide your fingers into my moist, "you sure know how to drip" you say. what can i say? Im the the fire service only beacause your the one on fire!" you grab my head and start to kiss me, hard, well fast then slow. you lick on my lips... im loving it i thrust my tongue into your mouth, it meets with yours...darn. you sexy.

you hold me away and look into my eyes... "you know how much i dig you babe?"
in miy mind STALE JIST, to you..."I know, plus you know its totally mutual"

"what would have happened if i had never met you?" i cant answer, I really want to but all i can think of right now are your fingers in me, you are sliding in me, tapping in on the right frequency i must confess. "o! sheet" im moaning, it must have been a fery fery good sound cuz the way you attacked Taiwo ehn na die, dont forget the other one im thinking, dont you dare. But you do dare, you Ignore Kehinde and move all the way down to Alaba. FORK! you know i cant stand that, i really cant..."No dont... i dont want you too" my alter Ego? "Suck on it beetch you know you want to"
You ignore me, and force my legs apart, Ewo! why i no wear shorts sleep na? hmmmmm! you latch on and start to do your thing, i can feel your tongue dartin in an out like a woodpecker, unexpectedly, i move aiming for the other side of the bed, its just too much for me, i cant help it, i cant stand it...your laughter fills the room
"ole, lazy girl, na only mouth you get"

you know me, you know me only too well, you know sey dem no they call me name wey no be my own, you know sey dem no they call me pikin wey no know him papa. in my head Jazzman's song..."Won ti da mi mo lo sen pariwo (they have recognised me, that is why they shout!) ehn omo to dun (the child that is sweet) with the same contenet grin on your stupid sexy face you watch me crawl back to your end of the bed, i take off my panties, who needs the interference? im not taking off my night shirt, I know what the satin does to you and i know what leaving it on does to you, on a platter i spread em legs and say it..."Suck on it beetch!" you laugh that your laughter wey wan resemble growl and you attack me like the spartans attacked their enemies, i cant help it anymore, Im screaming my head off
"sheet, sheet sheet" it only makes you do it some more. I want deeeeck im thinking, i need to grab the 'mic'

"i want you" I say
"you had better" you reply
“No no, i mean...i want...hmmm...i want to sock on you too
"Its your birthday babe...thats not an option"
"but i really want to, i need to...i have to"
you ignore me and go back to doin it, what does CWB call it now? "Claw" ehen yes, im thinking Now, Now! Now!
I voice my thoughts..."now, please now"
"...NO!"
a kaleidiscope explodes, i dont believe it, you making me beg you? your going to make me beg? you are only doing it cuz you know it makes me twice the hornier beetch I am now.

Two can play, I wont give you the pleasure of hearing me beg...or will i?
I Hold your head down, pushing your head into me some more, might as well
Stick you whole darn head into it, my toes are burning, my ears, fingers, my hair seems to be standing, static, electricity, you chose that particular moment to stop... for the good cuz less than a millisecond later i feel you, the you i definitely cant do without 'Tap ' on my button
Yes! finally, he's going to...he's...hmmmmm!

Inside! Home!

your moving now, its the grand prix, slowly, sheet what contrast, harder, what pain, full throttle, nothing but pleasure.

My legs over your shoulders...I DON DIE O. I know where im going to be feeling you, In my brain. ahh Ori min korin, ori min korin (my head is singing, my head is hitting the iron post...who cares?)

"Its paining me" I say
"should i stop" you ask
"nooooooo" I answer. In my head, you dey crase? do more, more
you spin me around somehow, you are still lodged in me, my upper body you nudge, "down a bit babe" im like a slide as you slide in and out of me, i wonder whats going through your mind, but no time to ask, i can feel you building, you exit my body, why nah? you be winsh? you dey crase? what nonsense, what rubbish, what...juices? all over, it feels like the kaiji Dam, the springs, who needs water cooperation if me one person can manufacture so much liquid? See as tap dey gush, abeg shock that tin make water no waste, you lay down and place me ontop of you, no questions, i straddle you, lets go now! Camron you dey?

"Horse and carriage den den, Badchic here den den, with the sexy den den Mr Bad den den, we gonna fooooooork till we come den den, even then den den we go still continue den den"

Me ontop, you grabbing on to the 'twins' they must dey fear, see as dem dey shake, i look into your eyes

"you determine the pace babe, its your day"

Need you say more?, i pull you up and kiss you like there was no tomorow, you latch on to the twins cuz you know thats what does it for me, i can feel it coming, the rush, i feel you hold me tighter than a clamp...

"Im goin to..." i say

"sheet" you say...

"Can i?" I say...
"you want to? you say

"Baaaaaby..." I say

“Uhn..." you grunt

"Aaahhh, mmmm, im...im...im" i say

"uhmmm" you say

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeet!" we say

I come as i feel you spill it all into me. talk about buying me a drink!


im panting, na me just finish marathon, na me just reach where i dey go, na me just land, na me just come

“ Happy Birthday babe, I love you Pieces"

In my mind? Stale jist

As it did not happen like this...wash out for Part two!

Sunday 7 October 2007

A bit down.

Winches. they want to catch me? sing along

Ota to ba fe doublecross me o! igbaloandogi won.

Got my first shot in 6 years yesterday, i hate hospitals. i had to be talkin to man at the same time, was hoping he'll talk dirty in my ear so ill ignore the pain. did it work? naaah! he was laughin, my cries of 'passion' where gettin to him. I love long things in me but the needle?

whats worse its my birthday on friday...they cant catch me! Prayer def works. he holding me together. Pray for me y'all blog some mor in a couple of hours, need to lie down now.

hmmmmn i sigh.

Tuesday 25 September 2007

Story story...

Stooory! Last week friday was a blast! but before I go on, I have to say THANK you to all you blog citizens for showing me much love, thank you for making me feel so accepted. roll call? abegi u know yourselves moreover u have to pay for advert space. lol

Update on Eno?

Yoruba people say "the talk that we have said the father should not hear, it is the father that will sort it out" hope I got that right. anyways mf is some lucky chic, somehow, there is absolutely noting for her to be afraid of anymore, I mean ehn that binsh has got to be one of the luckiest on the face of the earth. well the problem is not completely solved but, its not so much of a problem anymore. Eno is still on her case like flies on shit but ehn, Eno no get mouth again o! well na me somehow somehow cause the wahala. I actually assumed my blog was soo anonymous, (hence my extreme jaboing, casting, gbeborunin, ofofofoing, general inability to keep jist to myself) I dont tell people about it except we tight like that and even those I told and gave the address e.g my cousin josephine? she says she's too busy to read it. so im feeling sexy with myself abi? wroooong. apparently another friend of ours lets call him Mike (jackass like u, u know yourself) reads my blog, he ends up discussing it with mf's boyfie over a table where Udeme happened to have been present, only God knows how their jist got there but ehn, boyfie put two and two together and tried a bit of psychology on mf, mugun that she is she erupted and started spilling like oil from a rig. (I swear mf na mugun) if na me ehn, i will deny till thy kingdom come. so sha sha the guy sef don they suspect her, says she had been hoarding her fone, stepping out to recieve calls, turning off the phone when they were together, being apprehensive, shaky, jittery et al. only for him to find out it was a girl she was with. Was he mad? Did he leave her? na that would have been conventional.

Well to cut long story short, he formed anger, told her it had to be he was doing something wrong, wasnt paying her enough attention, he coudnt have her cheating on him, they had to sort it out. How? Agbaya took her to his and forked her one million ways till sunday!

HA! my kind of guy. (my bad I know its mfs guy but ehn...I speak my mind) I just noticed sey all weekend mf no call or show, na so sunday afternoon she call me with her voice like sey she just got back from Iraqi. whispering like a tif.

mf- "bad...I no know whether to call u oloshi or to say thank you, this guy wan kill me o! I tell am sey I tire, in tell me sey i never see anything, just dey do me anyhow since friday night." (binsh like she wasnt enjoying herself)

me- AHH! u no close shop?

mf- the mo fo went to palms and bought jelly o!

me- kilon je be? (im thinking jell-o here)

mf- ode ky jelly, lubricant!

me- YEEEE! se pe they sell that tin in naija? how much?

mf- e no go better for u, na wetin u suppose say be that?

me- ha! sorry o! okay call eno to join now, i don talk better now?

mf- binsh. gotta go, he's coming.

me- Already? lol she hangs up.

So I kinda kobalised her and well she got it good atleast the guy was decent enuff to be understanding. So bloggers three cheers for Mr mf!

Speaking of the Mr's well you know how they say you go looking fo something in Sokoto when it is right there in your Sokoto? will keep u posted on that!

So Last week Friday was bunz it was "it takes 2" a new reality show coming up soon. with similarities to dancing with the stars this show has got to be one of the best things to hit the airwaves since forever. 10 celebrities, 10 pro dancers. roll call
Tara Fela Durotoye (house of tara)
Mr Nigeria (Brian sometin)
Former miss Nigeria Omowunmi Akin...
Sound Sultan
Kunle Afolayan (u know him from Irapada)
Zizi Cardow
Nomoreloss
Funlola Aofiyebi
Omotola Jalade and last but not the least
PASUMA WONDER

it was the bomb, live studio audience and yadi yadi ya. I think ill blog on it later (maybe) as in the only person wey dey trip me pass na Paso, you should have seen him in a tux dancing the Rumba. sheet thats one fuji guy with alot of class.

Anyways with me making myself happy and all the 'guy' from my previous post I saw that day. well its like this, I happen to be related to one of the celebrities aforementioned (not paso) and he was just there chilling in his Planet one hotel room, I go down there cuz Im bored as hell anyways, might as well be early for the show. Ironically 'He' called, lets call him Dele now.

Anyways, I tell him Im at planet one, drop by after work if u can, would be cool to see. so he shows up after work, looking sexy as hell, I go down to the lobby to pick him up, so back to the so so sexy planet 1 hotel room. somehow somehow everyone left the room for the show and we was here alone, I dont think Ive ever been that hot in the cold. with ac from different angles I was heating, see correct setting, sound proof everything, sexy bed, bath, living room, how the fork do you want it? I cant deny me I had eeveel intentions towards the guy o!
I had had like 10 serious premonitions as to how we had collided, discarded and combined but all na dream o! trust me and my big mouth, I told him o! you know I want you and yadi yadi ya! I even gawked that day sef, I should have spiced his drink lol.

Anyways, we had a couple of conversations, you know the weather, art, African magic, Benson and Hedges, he couldnt stay I walked him to his car, kissed him on his cheek, told him " I love you" and walked back in. End of story. when cloth does not fit, move on and look for your size. lol

By the way Dele, since u now have my blog add anyways, feel free to drop a comment.

Ehen what else? me I dont know but for those who want Eno's no *wink wink* holla at ya girl.

Tuesday 18 September 2007

Yawa for my friend.

My friend (mf for short) is in serious trouble, it has to do with a girl. aaahhhhh!

mf has turned James Bond, avoiding the girl like yahoo yahoo boys avoid dem EFCC, mf has to turn off all phones; celtel o! mtn, glo, mts, starcomms (haba how many fone for one person?) even the land line in mf's house has been computerised to say "mf is not aound please dont try later".

Apparantly (dem say dem say na so mf take tell me) it was a cold wednesday evening mf was in a room with Eno, nice teets, sexy, horny as hell. somehow somehow mf gets her naked and they start to do the preliminary to d main d main thing.
I asked mf why not d main d main?
mf says "because i am not a painter"
So the story goes ( i still dont believe it is the full story, something must have been left out) they were there just talking o! harmless talk only that it turned to something else, you fit do, you no fit do turn to kizzing, turn to strippin. Mf is good, knows what to say and how to say it, mf takes off Eno's bra and sucks on her buttons, tugs a bit, licks and laps...bites then licks again just the way girls like it. Eno grabs mf's head and starts to kiss like she left somthing in mf's throat (mfs words not mine) mf pulls her head back and spanks her, tells her to show some respect, Eno likes it, Eno is panting asking to be touched, Mf bliges...spanks...rubs...kisses...tugs...kisses...talks dirty...spanks...kisses...Eno comes....
I asked mf "didnt YOU come?"
mf answers "I came ages before her"

Mf is now in serious trouble o! avoiding Eno like a plague, why? Eno wants more! Eno has proffessed love, warned mf not to hurt her, cheat on her, Eno calls mf at odd hours to say "im horny", i need to be ... CENSORED!

mf is in a serious relationship, is getting married pretty soon, mf didnt even have sex with Eno, all they did was the preliminaries. ( i believe that one I've listened in on one of mfs conversations" mf wants to know what to do...enter me confidant.


me I dont know o! this na new territory for me, how mf? how could you cheat on your partner? how could you do whatever it is you did with Eno? me I dont know what you are going to do o! if I say continue avoiding the girl d question "for how long?" comes up. tell her? according to you she's a warrior.
hmmmm I sigh. well mf the best solution I can think of is tell your boyfriend and maybe y'all can have a minaj ( thats me being wicked sorry) as i was saying...STOP BINSH!

did you say boyfriend?

yep I did.

how? is mf gay?

no no mf is not gay or is mf gay? wo me i dont know jare all i know is mf does have a boyfriend, mf loves boyfie, boyfie loves mf aint that the way its supposed to be? i mean mf is gettin married to boyfie and they plan to have kids...(BOYFRIEND MUST NOT FIND OUT!)

Hellooo? why are we going Chuck and Larry here? Elton John and who knows? Bobby and Elvis?
What are you talking about? more like Ellen, Rosie and Nike

DUH! mf is a girl, she did some girl on girl action (see what too much mojo has caused) which in my opinion makes it complicated.

I dont know what she was thinking but now she running from another girl. she keeps asking me "badderchic wetin i go do now? na u bad now."

ye righ' na me do girl? but in the spirit of helping your neighbour out of a jam...

guys...help!

Ubong any ideas? wave? ugo? fineboy? port harcourt?

36? idemmilli? laide? yosh? overwhelmed? omo? princess?

Anyone?

help?

Saturday 1 September 2007

Even More.

An extra 5.

1. The Guardian a couple of days ago, reported the shooting of yet another civilian guess who done it? a trigger happy cop! Darn! not again. yould think that by now that sheet would have stopped. well guess what? it hasnt. and im wondering when are these mofo's gonna get their priorities right? refferin to my previous post i read some article not quite sure if twas the same but they quoted some rep of the police force disclaiming that they never arrested ladies on the grounds of indescent dressing (ye right) they were actually arrested in relation with criminal activities...riiight! So BBC must have reported crap cuz me knows i read their article well who would i rather believe a (crooked) cop or the BBC (im thinkin...) so i understand him trying to defend himself but then he forks it all up and says well when they (d cops) arrested street urchins noone said anything but once they arrest women we all shout! so Mr cop, my question is how are we supposed to talk when (that is if) you arrest street urchins? is u retarded? thats like saying ill complain that u made the streets safer for me to walk on.

2. On the subject of street urchins popularly known as Agberos they are constantly coming up with somin new. the best part is only in Lagos! upsettingly many of us carry our faces and think wetin concern me? i mean i once saw Agberos harrass a guy for 200 bucks. his crime? he parked his car and refused to pay them 'their' money.
wow na dia papa build road abi? and becos d guy was butter he fell for their tactics and gave them 200 bucks. ah! over my dead body. trust yours truly, i took down the glass and put my mouth. wetin i talk?

(in yoruba, its usually sweeter) "you have collected d money oya now go and use it to build a house or better still buy a car...animal"

let me guess you'll say wetin concern me, why talk to an Agbero? why bother? let me tell u a lil story.

The laundary guy came over as is his usual practice and we realise Water coop has decided to 'take water away' for some reason best known to them, so i ask hyginus d security guy to go get me one of those mallams that sell 25litre kegs of water.
"ask him to offload 10. "
now i understand a keg is 20 bucks which means i give d guy 200bucks abi? till they come to tell me the guy is asking for an additional 100bucks, i go downstairs in my typical omo yoruba, amazon like manner

"if u no take 20 naira" i say "then take your water and go" (ye right, how do u take back water you done pouring?

Hyginus "madam, no min dem na so dem dey do, when dem see big big house dem go wan put money join" "aunty na 20 naira" d laundary guy and driver say.

im hell bent on havin it my way till the mallam speaks...

"walahi na twenty naira we dey kollet bepor bepor but those feful dem dey kollet moni por our hand"

"what people?" i ask, the driver helps me out here. The Agberos! apparently, agberos collect money for just about anything in Lagos. theres money for parking, meruwas, driving, going past one way roads, garbage guys, heck there soon enough will be money for breathing in air. we forget we all are part of the circle of life, when we turn a blind eye what they do to these Meruwas affect u and i. you dont believe me? who paid the extra 100bucks?

3. Lunatics, mad people, mentally unbalanced in other words were's. isnt it funny that Lagos is one place where we walk past these people unperturbed? children even take out time to laugh at these people, ye they are people. inspite of the fact that there are psychatric hospitals at Yaba and Oshodi (i found that out accidentally) they still roam the streets. whats disgusting? Me seeing a stark naked Were obviously just done having a shit, using sand from the walkway as toilet paper!

4. How is it possible that we walk/drive by corpses unperturbed?

5. When do you reckon they'll start treating the Niger-Delta region with more respect? i reckon if they treated these people right, gave them the neccessary attention/amenities there wont be so much violence going on. wanna know whose side to be on? Check out pictures on Corbis.

Only God will save us.

I notice my blog is becomin less mischeivious. dont worry will b back soon just need to tackle these issues first.

Holla at ya girl!

Saturday 18 August 2007

And again.

5 More things...

1. Everyday on my way to work, im treated to the gruesome sight of a man with cancer of the testicles ( i assume that is what it is) another with burns on his leg ( i have actually seen him pour engine oil on it maybe to ease the pain or for better effect) another with a swollen face, i have learnt to avert my eyes anytime i hear the music, yes they actually play music, christmas carols in the middle of the year, there are also uniformed 'collectors' speaking into a megaphone telling you to 'help' some people that have inadvertently messed up your day and that will more than likely make more that you in a day (even after taxes) dont get me wrong it is not like i am not sympathetic to their plight its just that it is wrong to have to subject people to this especially kids. many a time, ive had to ask my siblings to search for something on the floor, just so they dont have to see it. its even more pathetic the women with twins, limbs intact begging for money. i guess in Naija, everything na business, even begging.

Nobody is doing anything about this.

2. I saw a cop slap an old man. "cmon shut up" pa! pa! the man was old enough to be his father. the other cops looked on, i couldnt stop my cab could i? lets see "ehn baba oni taxi wait. officer, why did you just slap a senior citizen?" i would probably have been arrested for indecent exposure in my jalabia.

Nobody is doing anything about this.

3. Of all the things affecting this country, high crime rate, not finding Bola Ige's, Funsho Williams and that cute 19yr old they killed b4 elections killers the most impotant thing the police have decided to tackle is indecent exposure? Fork the police! what happened to increasing crime rate? what happened to robberies in traffic? what happened to Agberos? what happened to general security? somebody tell that guy whoever he is that Lagos is no Sharia state. I am against indecent exposure, girls going all nasty, but do you think arresting people for their fundamental human right is going to make things right? do it the right way, educate them, go to their schools, teach them they are wrong, have more time for your kids, stop them watching Beyonce, Rihanna, try Corrine Bailey Rae, she better, India Arie. More importantly you pointing the fingers and calling indecently dressed chics whores stop financing their moves, na you be the Aristo. whoever came up with that law, raise your hand and say you have never given a young girl money to sleep with you. Pharisee.

Nobody is doing anything about this

4. SSS short for super sweet sixteen. that has got to be the worst show ever! it is fascinating at first but after that it is messed up! they make us watch children disrespect people all in the name of birthday parties? sulk if they dont get a car? spend money on jewellery like they were p diddy? what the hell happened to teaching a child to be strong? like my friend asked "if this one na 16th birthday wetin she go do for wedding?" fork that! when children are hungry in dafur somebody spent 140k dols on jewellery alone? like my mom would say "se o sise owo si mi lapo?" did you work and put money in my pocket? when you are giving your child the impression that money would sort out any and everything for you truth is no probs destroy your childs life but for the sake of almighty God MTV stop destroying ours. what really is SSS trying to teach/preach?

Nobody is doing anything about this.

5. The way children dress to the movies, YEPA! kilode? is it that they pack their rags in their bags and change in the bathrooms? abi? ko ye mi o! trust my agbaya'isous friends, they would go to the railings and look down, straight into these childrens cleavages. i blame them not! to them, they are young ladies who need helping abi who no like better thing? later now they would tell me Roman Polanski, Rkelly, Mike Tyson carried underaged children how now? is it under aged commodity they are carrying up and down? or if u meet a girl in the club or where agbalagbas are will you ask for identity card? abi when she tells you she is 21 will you go to her house to find out if it is a lie or not? lets not even go into that worped oyibo sense but meen leave it! these children dont look their ages, dont act their ages, if they want to dress adult then they should be ready to play adult games abi? dont blame the men, blame the parents! while your busy making more money to buy plasma screens for your househelps to watch, your innocent children are not so innocent anymore.

Nobody is doing anything about this.

God save us from the wonders of this world o!

On a lighter side? lets try some praise and worship song. if you know it pls sing along."ota to ba fe doublecross me, igbalandogi won" (enemies wanting to doublecross me (not quite sure what igbalandogi means) i guess they would run down?) i got bad news like2 weeks ago, its taking away about a year of my carefully planned life but hey! no shaking, everything happens for a reason abi? nothing do me.

And so ive had you ask me what PHD means, for those who are truly oblivious, i will enlighten you.

P- quite attractive, beautiful.
H- of a large mass, of great weight
D- Tom, _____ and Harry.

Do the math! hallelu...halleluyah!

Exschnerd, kay and all em peoples that wanted to know why i wasnt blogging thanks for caring, the winches were tring to 'cash' me but they can not succeed. speaking of winches, i heard jist o! some chic was on a bus with one of em preachers in it, i hear it went somin like this..."All women that wear trousers are prostitutes, that wear make up prostitutes, that this...prostitutes, that...prostitutes, it is against the will of God" or somin like that apparently he was going a bit overboard. and for everytime he said something 'hilarious' the chic would laugh hysterically sha to cut long story short, as she was getting off the bus after laughing at the 'preacher' she fell flat on her face. now is that the will of God or just winches?

Holla at your girl!

Thursday 26 July 2007

jamb questions.

When you are in Oshodi act like the Oshodians



1.What time did you get up this morning?5am im still sleepy.
2. Diamonds or pearls?So why cant i just have both?
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?Hairspray!
4. What is your favorite TV show?Truth is I’m always too fagged out to watch Tv but an all time fav. is Cosby show!
5. What did you have for breakfast?I never chop. God know sey I dey hung!.
6. What is your middle name?Tejuola, sweet sey? Just like me!
7. What is your favorite cuisine/meal?As long as I has dodo in it…I’m game!
8. What foods do you dislike?Oats. Yuck, Alpen and all those shitty foods. Eugh!
9. Your favorite Potato chip? Dodo chips.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?Try and ask me fav song and ill tell you all of a'go put the record on' Bailey Rae
11. What kind of car do you drive? I no get moro o!
12. Favorite sandwich?Boli and epa…does sandwich have to have bread?
13. What characteristics do you despise?Snobbishness, self centeredness, greed, Selfishness ati be be lo.
14. Favorite item of clothing? Easy, My birthday suit…comfort rules baby!
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?Barbados, Egypt, Tunisia and Kenya
16. What color is your bathroom?How I wan take know? Sorry just yanking your chain, white!17. Favorite brand of clothing?as long as it looks good I no wan know
18. Where would you want to retire?I will cross that bridge when i get there, I just started my life, I never see middle you wan make I dey talk end?
19. Favorite time of day?Night…sleep time!
20. Where were you born?This Lagos where we dey so, stylee stylee, stylee!
21. Favorite sport(s) to watch?They haven’t invented it yet, it should probably be the one that involves lawmakers beating themselves up. Lol ill watch a movie instead
22. Who do you least expect to respond to this?My unborn child. (grin grin)
23. Person you expect to respond first? Exschoolnerd…my personal person
24. What laundry scent do you use?Omo super clean omo washes even bright and lets it show, OMO! Lol will settle for lavender.
25. Coke or Pepsi?pepsi more value for your money especially if it is orobo pepsi.
26. Are you a morning person or night owl?Night owl baby.
27. What size shoe do you wear?7.
28. Do you have pets?Will my nieces do?
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone?Yes! My name is tejuola!
30. What did you want to be when you were little?I wanted to be like Micheal Jackson, my mama beat me ehn!
31. Favorite Candy Bar?Tobleron (I know its chocolate but its all I got, my precious)
32. What is your best childhood memory?Boxing day lunches and the water bed we had.
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life?plenty jo.
34. What color/type underwear are you wearing? black female boxer that says “I like boys pants”
35.Nicknames:Pscyco
36. Piercings?Asides from the normal ones? Nah! I react to them
37. Eye color?Brown
38a) Ever been to Africa?DOH!
38b) Ever been to South Australia?for where?
39. Ever been toilet papering or rolling?look I don’t know why we cant all be natural, water does it better
40. Love someone so much it made you cry? Once.
41. Been in a car accident?No, I pray for continuity there.
42. Croutons or bacon bits?Dodo
43.Favorite day of the week?Saturday, I get to just chiiil.
44. Favorite restaurant?That would be Iya kemi’s buffet service
45. Favorite flower?Sun flowers
46. Favorite ice cream?Chocolate chip and biscuito.
47. How many times did you fail your driver's test?Me? How can I fail a test I gave myself?
48. What color is your bedroom carpet?Blue.
49. How many times did you fail your driver's test?is it me? Am I seeing things? Look I don’t come twice in a row
50. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email?The computer guy
51. Which stores would you choose to max out your credit card?Swatch, Sony ericcsson store or feet.
52. What do you do most often when you are bored?Sleep? Read a book, look for trouble.
53. Bedtime? Atleast midnight or else ill be mad in the morning
54. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?Anna Nicole Smith, that is if she would have understood the questions
55. Last person you went to dinner with?My friend, we had so much to catch up on
56. What are you listening to right now?UB40 cant help falling in love
57. What is your favorite color?BLUE!
58. Lake, Ocean or river?same ni.
59. How many tattoos do you have?None Yet.
60. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?how am I supposed to know? As I wasn’t there u want me to bear false witness abi?

Tuesday 24 July 2007

Today.

5 things that i saw today.

1. I saw a ghost! well not exactly but she did look like a ghost, she had a bit too much foundation on, her eye pencil looked like road markings on its way to kafancha, her lipstick looked like blood! she looked like a vampire, yes! i think that would be it a vampire or maybe a cross between a vampire and a ghost. beeetch was oooguli!

2. The woman that decided the best place to wash her baby's poop was beside the road, where people were standing, she took her baby and washed his yansh there...y'all know how baby poop smell....(sob, sob)

3. The girl right beside me on the bus that ate corn after corn and ube after ube like she was in the village trust me with ALL the sound effects, the spittle comin out the side of her mouth and the corn darting out everytime her phone rang plus the fact that she decided to commentate on the drivers every move!

4. The forker that decided to take a shit in a garden at the side of the road.

5. The AGBAYA men that brought out their GBola's (notice i didnt say baba dudu, baba dudu is a good thing) and were taking a bath at the side of the road! their things were almost reaching their thighs.

O save us lord from the wonders of this Lagos. did i hear an amen?

All these things to my fragile heart in just one day?

I am Broke! officially! Notice i didnt take a cab home, i entered (not took o!) entered bus. right now im wishing 36 would come and pay my own school fees too, you know the school now, school of hard knocks?

as in i am so waiting for a miracle.

I need a PHD.

You say "oloshi, wetin you wan you use am do? "

I say " no not a Phd a PHD" and you go...

"ooooooh! mo ti jasi" ( i understand)

I dont believe you guys thought i was saying i wanted to go back to school, i manage to finish one you want me to use my two left legs to go back almost immediately? you have crase.

Look hia, extreme academic qualification is not for us all. yes beni, BUT a certain Qualification is....


I do need a PHD. you see, i need some 'head' trauma, i need to learn like my ancestors learnt from the 'missionaries', i need to learn how things from 'the back' affect 'the front', wont be a bad idea to learn the mechanics behind not a pair of scissors but 'scissors' or perhaps study the histories of the world and find out who exactly discovered the 'wheelbarrow', i would love to study the intricateness of a 'butterfly', perhaps find out why the chinese use 'chopsticks' and why they are so into teas, who exactly invented the packaging of tea in bags, who is the father of 'teabagging'? Why do people sit down to eat, why dont they 'do it standing'? who is the foremost 'cunning linguist' why wasnt there ever a bond girl named 'fay Latio'? Who invented the 'saddle' why do people like to 'ride' so much, horses, bicycles, powerbikes you name it? 'speed what is it with speed sef? why do some people like to go 'slow' and others 'fast' why do people thrive on adrenaline? what is a 'mean naj de trois' and why is it so popular? Yes, you see we need to learn more about these things so we can really be "ontop" at all times so there can be that feeling of conentment when one gets to "achieve" victory? that is not forgeting research is good for future generations so they will be able to benefit from us, i mean there will be no 'future generations' if we dont research on 'these' matters.

hallelu...halleluyah! beni.

I dislike when a woman that tells me she doesnt need a PHD, no one says right now but definitely before u die woman you need to be 'educated' for your very own piss of mind, so you can 'come' to be at peace with your inner self.

(did u just call me bitch?)

If u are acting modest, pretending like you dont know what brand of 'education' i am talking about well like one of my adopted brothers would say, i say this. "raise your hand o ye that have never tasted baba dudu and that do not wish to taste the wonders of baba dudu, raise your hands falsely and Amadioha would strike you" he says it not me.

As i was saying jere, a PHD is a neccessary requirement for every woman, no matter what you leave with Honours, first class, second class... as long as 'it' can hold the motion in the ocean' are u understanding me? i mean we all cant all have the titanic even though the titanic is known to 'sink easily' thanks to the 'standing icebergs' and the 'wetness' from plenty oceans of water!

Well some people can settle for speedboats, yatchs or canoes depending on your preference of 'broadbands'.

I hope you are understanding me.

So i say where are the PHD's sorry i mean twould be nice to further my 'education' wont it.

Did i just hear you call me Bitch?

holla at ya gal!

Sunday 22 July 2007

Sunday blues?

I have always been a mischievous person, always looking for a laugh

I have always been principled, always having my beliefs and sticking to them

I have always been sometimes easily angered, I really do hate bullshit

I have always said it as it is.

I have always been me, but i seem to be changing.

Its weekend, starcomms free calls. Once upon a time, you could never get thru to me, it was always busy, there was always so many people to talk to then…my phone is free, I wonder what happened to them all.

I didnt go to church today (no I wasn’t trying to avoid E-diot) far from it, it was Harry that caused it o! Harry kept me up till five o clock this mornin and by Nine he had me up again, it was so intense you have no idea! By then I couldn’t make it to the 8am service at church GOD FORGIVE ME O! na Harry Potter and the deathly hallows cause am.

Ive been so moody all day, I am not talking to anyone, they have been trying to get to me but I have this blank expression on my face but my mind is really telling everyone trying to disturb me to sod off! I really felt like letting go today but no! I keep it strong.

But for how long?

Am I an ungrateful child?

Shouldn’t I be thanking God for all the things he does for me on the reg? Why do I let other things get to me?

My playmates are gone away for summer, my babies. They are the only ones I feel really need me at least they show it, they come looking for me in the middle of the night wake me up and say “aunty, can I stay in your room?” I have never said no. Taiwo and Kehinde are gone for the summer, who will I tell to stop crying? Who will I carry on my back? Who would sleep on my chest and say “now im comfutable” who will say “cawwy me o!” who will I feed? Who will I bathe? Who will I say “you are my only twins in the whole wide world” to. I didn’t even bother to come out and say bye when they were leaving for the airport, I couldt, I don’t think we’ve been apart for as long as we are going to be now since they were born five years ago. They didn’t even kiss me bye, their moms told them “Hurry, hurry, we are late!”

I still don’t want to talk to anyone.

For some funny reason, no links I promise, some girl that used to be in my class in sch comes to my mind. She was bounced in yr 3, exam malpractice. One day for the tif was her case. She don dey do am tey.

I saw her walking on the road two week ago, she looks washed out, she used to be an Aristo girl, I heard she has a kid now, im not even goin to wonda wu for, wetin consain me?

Sha sha i cant remember her name, not just because i suck with names and faces but because we gave her a name...'you are too flatter"

Why?

I'll tell you but before i do remember I SHIT YOU NOT! Banji reckons i have fiction on my blog, nope its all fact! nothin made up.

Like i said i shit you not, this really happened.

Back in yr one my friend Red and i were really mischeivious people, we would go around looking for trouble. Red would hug girls and hold them from the back and i would bring out my camcorder and get the girls expressions, they were usually real excited, enjoying the 'assault' (i wonder why) I would look for girls with open cleavages or buttcracks or both and ask "are you browsing" my friend would say "ahh! im online" we were just very playful ( a bit too playful i think) sha we were so awful lecturers started seperating us in classes and exams. Dr M in his oyinbo accent "No, NO you cant sit there, no not near your friend, please move over"

Sha before i continue long story remember, i shit you not, one day like this while waiting for a class to start, She shows up, i still cant remember her name she was looking RED! like some femme fatale or som'in. she had a red top, belt, beg, shoes, hair ruffle,earrings, bangles, beads, nails, rings, lipstick everything in shocking red! im sure in her left mind she looked good. Who lied to you? girl you no get mirror for house? trust my friend and i we started with this girl o! Psyching the oloshi, she too gellin

It goes a lil somin like this:

Red: (i remember now her name was queen) Queen Queen, baby ah! you are too much see how u fine today, baby ah! if to say i get money now now, i will marry you, you are just ha! where have you been all my life, come and meet my mother...

Me: Babe, true no be small thing you fine today o! if i be man, me sef go marry o!

it goes on like that, think of all the Psyches possible.

and then she had to do it...with her correct ibo accent, she wasnt faking, she was for real...

Queen: Nna you gais, you are too flatter, you are too flatter, you are too flatter

I SHIT YOU NOT!

Red and i ran bonkers, we ran for our dear lives laughing checking to see if either of us had hallucinated. nope, she had said it.

Needless to say by 4pm that day everybody in school knew the jist. i heard they were trying to beat me that time but nothin dey happen, i am covered by the blood of Jesus.

that was a while ago tho, heavy Aristo runs has left queen washed out. i hope she's okay...i dont really give 2 but all the same.

I wonder why people Fork for money, but what do i know?

I still dont want to talk to anyone.

Thursday 19 July 2007

I really would love...

(Eddie Murphy in coming to America)
"To be loved, to be loved is a wonderful feeling"

(all those stupid romantic movies)
"look, i dont care what you say, all i know is...i love you"

(all those yamayama home vidoes)
"sir, i know you think im just an ordinary mechanic, but sa... i love your daughter"

(their yoruba counterparts)
"Ma se gba gbe majemuu re, mo ni ife re" (dont forget your promise to love me, I love you)

(all those confused peoples)
" i...i...i love you!"

yadi yadi ya!

Me? i think love used to select people! beni o! true to God i no go lie, love used to select those people it used to follow because me, in my close to thirty in d next couple of years i have never loved and been loved (except you choose to count all those times that i lied and said "i love you, i love you" when baba dudu was drilling a pleasurable hole in me, trust me, i meant to say "i love it, i love it" my bad!

I think i fell in love once, well if u want to call it that, being that i dont exactly know what it is so i ask does praying for that person more that u pray for yourself mean u love that person? if u know abeg holla me jere!

anyway, this guy, i choose to call him GQ, G for short, we met under funny circumstances. so this is me coding myself ase the guy know me well no b small. so we started to talk, my heart started to be beating fast, everytime i hear his ringtone i will be shining teeth like mugun, all was well all was good especially that weekend ah! i remember that weekend, he cooked (i didnt eat, i wasnt scareding for poison, too much butterflies no gree space for food, he treated me like a princess ah! ko ni da fun omo ibo (it cannot be better for omo ibo) they can know how to do woman, if possible gaan he would have carried me on his head, sha sha thats how it was time to don don (quite accidentally of course, i really didnt plan it, all i had planned was to spend the night with this guy i really fancied, able bodied naija boy, ibo boy not castrated, not gay im sure i just wanted to share the gospel, discuss politics, spend quality time with him...OLOSHI girl!

sha sha it was da bomb, ha! omo ibo lo bii stallion meen (he was something short of a stallion), me sef no spoil (jazzman's won ti da mi mo lo sen pariwo- they recognise a worthy person thats why the hail!) i remember it going somin like this-
Omo ibo and i were doin i dont know 2? 3? when my head started to hit the wall

i shit you not! it really happened!

G- "babe...babe" (emi naa mo pe mo sexy-i know im sexy)
mi- (im sayin this in yoruba for real) "ori min kanrin" my people you know that could mean two things 1. my head is singing
2. my head is hitting the iron bar/post

in this case, it was not this or that o! it was both! my head must have been singing kaysha's juska song (and this was b4 we knew kaysha o!, i mean e don tey small)

for every time i said "ori min kanrin" omo ibo went harder

in my mind...OLOSHI O fe pa mi ni? (mad man do you want to kill me?) why isnt this guy stopping, you are killing me, its sweeting me but it really feels like my head is about to be an oil rig!, no oil nigga blood! stop now!

my voice? "aaah! ori mi, on dun mi- (my head...it is paining me) i keep saying this bt no response from omoo ibo and then it hits me...Omo ibo doesnt speak yoruba, he doesnt even understand yoruba( unless u want to count d on dun mi (its paining me) he learnt from me) ...oniranu, you are just bilingual for nothing.

"G...G, my head, my head" he stopped, turned compass east and continued.

when i think of this guy, i cringe on the inside, he's an example of one of my mistakes, why why why did i allow G get to me? why exactly did i like him?

well... 1. he was really nice in the beginnin (well they all are)
2. he was good lookin (im a sucka for fine boys)
3. he had a real cool job (oil and gas good enuff?)
4. he was about 3 yrs older (i actually like them older but he acted mature)
5. he made me feel like a princess (really, aint that what all we girls want?)

eventually, i hurt more than ever when he started to show himself, it pain me die...me? me that one small thing i have jabod d guy, as in you know now, well it is all iya yewande's fault.

iya yewande is my mothers younger sister, we call her shine shine bobo, she likes to drink star, im not close to her since i didnt grow up with mums

sha sha she called me one day like this we were at a burial, only time i get to see some folks
SS- "i want to talk to you"
mi- ma
SS- "where is your husband?"
mi- im laughin " i dont have ma"
SS- "you dont have ke? okay where is your boyfriend?"
mi-" i dont have ma"
SS-" why? kilode? is there a problem? abi we should go and check it out? should i take you to my pastor? should we weri e lodo (should we go and wash your head at the river?)
at this point in time im laughing like it is funny, she goes delirious and switches from yoruba to the ijebu dialect of yoruba. mo gbe ooo!
SS- im telling u something serious u are laughing, am i a clown? yemisi (callin my other aunts) korede, come and talk to your child, do u think u are a child? at your age your mother had given birth to temi (my eldest bro) you dont have boyfriend, you dont have husband, you are just getting fatter, nobody will marry you like that o! im telling you you are laughing, i will use my left hand and slap u, i have told your mother she should not say becos u r still in sch(was still in sch den) if u bring husband she should allow u, we are here for u (ye rite, like u showed up wen my bro was enterin marriage prison) im still laughin she's gettin more irritated, i used style to walk away...sod off im thinking! im still young, ill wait.

i lie!

moms has been askin me for my boyfriend since my friend Yewy got married, she was 19 i was 20, ewy now has two sons. moms wants to know, everytime i go to her crib who im dating, have i found man yet, i once told her once they started selling husband in the market, i will buy two and put one in storage incase the first one forks up, she stopped for a while but now shes back, she tells me bring him, bring him...okay i will go and bring hired man like in wedding date, anybody interested?

what our parents dont know is that in pushing us ( urging us in their minds) they are forcin us to do what we wouldnt normally do nope im not blaming anyone for my mistakes but...they added.

Im not saying i let mama yewande get to me nope, in my opinion all she can see is bright lights and she's not even friends with udeme.

but really lets be serious, is there something wrong with me? dont mean to be conceited but emi gaan sezy (im sexy) im good (the classic lady in the street and freak in the bed?) i have a good heart (so they say) and all those qualities a good chic shold have but noooo! it is all those yamayama girls that get all the good guys "why are all the good guys taken all the time?" all those selfish, jazz using, disgusting,self centered, bleach skinned, fake, diabolic chics. in my opinion sha all those guys that marry such chics are suffering from curse they have probably done somtin bad to someone b4!

back to the matter at hand

i refuse to think i am unlucky nope, i subscribe to the patient dog gets the fattest bone! (let me keep on psychin myself abeg!)

so im here saying i never loved, never been loved, ive lusted and been lusted after but does that count? i dont have husband, boyfriend i have toasters but none i like...

"maybe love doesnt really exist cuz i deserve much more than this"

or maybe mine is rite about the corner.

Tuesday 17 July 2007

Nigerians are not happy!

The man in the bus next to us his morning was sleeping. good thing he was in a staff bus if not i would have been tempted to put one benson or st moritz in his mouth... what am I even saying sef? i would have put one jumbo igbo in his mouth...my bad! i could have stuffed a whole ghana bread in his mouth! omo meen bobo yen lanu le meen, wide open! his mouth was big! Im thinking of singing a song for him but he cant hear me, i sing it in my mind anyways

bobo denu le geisha n bo o eya mu ra, e ya mu ra...if u know it, sing along.
my nephew and neices are having a field day laughing at the man who has his head stuck to the window, him mouth wide open "aunty, im sure hes snoring" my nephew said.
they were laughing! rolling in their seats.

stupid children, what do they know?
i laughed, stupid me what do i now?
the driver sighed, he was sympathetic, he understands.

for the past as far back as can remember, the driver has resumed in my house 5.55am, except on holidays the kids need to go to school. im sure that means hes up by 4.30 his kids are probably still asleep by then, he closes by 6, he should get home 7.30. his kids are probably on their way to bed by then.

how do they get to know their father?

Naija could be a real fucked up country.

the girl in the other department in my office leaves home quater to 6, im still battling with the remnants of sleep by then.

the other girl leaves 5.30, she lives in ejigbo...office is in ikoyi. what kind of life do we live?

since i started this job, ive found myself to be grumpier (i cant do this forever but this one that i dont know when service is am i supposed to sit at home, yes im stil into my entertainment but i have to do tie job small abi? learning is a continuous process)

i saw three fags yesterday, on my way home from work, i was walking to get a cab when i saw them, how did i know they were fags? well the one in dreds was giggling... what kind of man giggles?

the other one was covering his face like " no you di'nt"

the last one had his hands on his hips looked at me and said "helooooooooooo" pouted and batted his eyelids.

i moved on like madam koikoi, minding my own business. i heard him/her say "look at her" he was slurring as he said that "see how her hair his flying, just see her jacket all over the place" like those guys in queer eye for a straight guy.

i walked on still like madam koikoi.

ashiere kuku ni yin, mo ri tiyin ro like exschnerd would say...cunts!

i took the cab, gave the incident some more thought... faggots? if they had just minded their own business with me i for try understand sey no be their fault na baba dudu sweet but as that one come insult me and my one nation blazer...

oloshi, ashiere, vegetable prick! of all the puzzies in this world, espeially in this lagos, it is another man that u see to be helping your condition ko ni daaa fun yin. meanawhile, i can bet they are not the givers they are the recievers. they will now never be able to control their urge to shit. oloriburuku ni yin se. they will not drink from the coast milk people with or withoout nafdac no, not the oranges, pawpaws or watermelons they want carrots and cucumbers! they want sprouts of ogi at the end when they can have correct flowing kunu. may they not see correct prak for a long time...assholes!...that is if it aint potholes by now.

sha im minding my own business like madam koikoi when traffic starts, heavy traffic oooo! why didnt i wait for oga? he would have taken me home being that we live in the same house. plus at closing hours he is my father again, not oga anymore. ooooo gosh!

traffic is moving ope o! "baba oni taxi move now!" "oko ashawo o de lo"
EGBA MI O! cab man ti sun, he is sleepin on the steering...he must be tired!

"mo ti weak!" he says. he brings out some foul smelling ointment and sniffs it hoping to stay awake...he sleeps some more, he bought cake to munch on, he slept some more!

a petrol tanker is in front of us...cab man doesnt brake..."baba!" he brakes suddenly

i start to say my rosary, i engage him in conversation. Nigeria, bad road, no light, no water, traffic, plantain have cost, fuel is coster, no food, university is slow, they have tif all our money... LORD PLEASE GET ME HOME SAFE!

baba is still sleeping. solution? GET THE FOrK OFF GIRL! eba is sweet, pounded yam and amala sweeter, yamarita in tfc awesome, you havent had a child yet, not even the boyfriend you always wanted, you are nearing 30, you havent gone to see the sacred feminine yet, you havent been to egypt yet, you havent had that multiple orgasm you always wanted yet, you have never bungee jumped, you dont have your powerbike yet, were bo le! bo le! i listened, i got off!

OKADA! roughride me to my junction please, ill walk home. but dont ride too hard, i don want to be riding you and definitly not hard...its been a long day. thank God i took the okada, traffic was horrible. 9.30 i got home, had a bath, ironed, oga sorry popc came back wanted food...in my mind Mr oga cant you see im tired? we were in the office all day together sebi you came to my department and saw me working?

"yes sa" i made him food, packed my bag,finally went to bed at midnight, i was up 5.30...got to the office 2hrs later... i need to sleep!

Nigerians are not happy.

Thursday 5 July 2007

Finally!

Permit me if i dont write much tonight, i am tired! i have spent the past God knows how long trying to be a "blog citizen" but my computer has winch! everytime i almost reach the promised land it will tell me url failure, you can go no further! The day i finally got in, i was happy, looking forward to returning but only God knows what happened i couldnt get in afterwards, i felt the way a guy would feel when he cant get to 'shag' a chic he had already shagged b4.

i was pissed, when i was already feeling happy it felt like an incomplete orgasm, just when i was almost there it disappears... anyways tonight i dont write much, but i show gratitude to "blogsville" for accepting me as its citizen.