Who says?

I cant express myself saying it exactly as it is?

Who says I should live my life scared?

If GODb4mi...Wu u fit b?

Ragga boi.

Ragga boi.
Bad guy somebori

Tuesday, 17 July 2007

Nigerians are not happy!

The man in the bus next to us his morning was sleeping. good thing he was in a staff bus if not i would have been tempted to put one benson or st moritz in his mouth... what am I even saying sef? i would have put one jumbo igbo in his bad! i could have stuffed a whole ghana bread in his mouth! omo meen bobo yen lanu le meen, wide open! his mouth was big! Im thinking of singing a song for him but he cant hear me, i sing it in my mind anyways

bobo denu le geisha n bo o eya mu ra, e ya mu ra...if u know it, sing along.
my nephew and neices are having a field day laughing at the man who has his head stuck to the window, him mouth wide open "aunty, im sure hes snoring" my nephew said.
they were laughing! rolling in their seats.

stupid children, what do they know?
i laughed, stupid me what do i now?
the driver sighed, he was sympathetic, he understands.

for the past as far back as can remember, the driver has resumed in my house 5.55am, except on holidays the kids need to go to school. im sure that means hes up by 4.30 his kids are probably still asleep by then, he closes by 6, he should get home 7.30. his kids are probably on their way to bed by then.

how do they get to know their father?

Naija could be a real fucked up country.

the girl in the other department in my office leaves home quater to 6, im still battling with the remnants of sleep by then.

the other girl leaves 5.30, she lives in is in ikoyi. what kind of life do we live?

since i started this job, ive found myself to be grumpier (i cant do this forever but this one that i dont know when service is am i supposed to sit at home, yes im stil into my entertainment but i have to do tie job small abi? learning is a continuous process)

i saw three fags yesterday, on my way home from work, i was walking to get a cab when i saw them, how did i know they were fags? well the one in dreds was giggling... what kind of man giggles?

the other one was covering his face like " no you di'nt"

the last one had his hands on his hips looked at me and said "helooooooooooo" pouted and batted his eyelids.

i moved on like madam koikoi, minding my own business. i heard him/her say "look at her" he was slurring as he said that "see how her hair his flying, just see her jacket all over the place" like those guys in queer eye for a straight guy.

i walked on still like madam koikoi.

ashiere kuku ni yin, mo ri tiyin ro like exschnerd would say...cunts!

i took the cab, gave the incident some more thought... faggots? if they had just minded their own business with me i for try understand sey no be their fault na baba dudu sweet but as that one come insult me and my one nation blazer...

oloshi, ashiere, vegetable prick! of all the puzzies in this world, espeially in this lagos, it is another man that u see to be helping your condition ko ni daaa fun yin. meanawhile, i can bet they are not the givers they are the recievers. they will now never be able to control their urge to shit. oloriburuku ni yin se. they will not drink from the coast milk people with or withoout nafdac no, not the oranges, pawpaws or watermelons they want carrots and cucumbers! they want sprouts of ogi at the end when they can have correct flowing kunu. may they not see correct prak for a long time...assholes!...that is if it aint potholes by now.

sha im minding my own business like madam koikoi when traffic starts, heavy traffic oooo! why didnt i wait for oga? he would have taken me home being that we live in the same house. plus at closing hours he is my father again, not oga anymore. ooooo gosh!

traffic is moving ope o! "baba oni taxi move now!" "oko ashawo o de lo"
EGBA MI O! cab man ti sun, he is sleepin on the steering...he must be tired!

"mo ti weak!" he says. he brings out some foul smelling ointment and sniffs it hoping to stay awake...he sleeps some more, he bought cake to munch on, he slept some more!

a petrol tanker is in front of man doesnt brake..."baba!" he brakes suddenly

i start to say my rosary, i engage him in conversation. Nigeria, bad road, no light, no water, traffic, plantain have cost, fuel is coster, no food, university is slow, they have tif all our money... LORD PLEASE GET ME HOME SAFE!

baba is still sleeping. solution? GET THE FOrK OFF GIRL! eba is sweet, pounded yam and amala sweeter, yamarita in tfc awesome, you havent had a child yet, not even the boyfriend you always wanted, you are nearing 30, you havent gone to see the sacred feminine yet, you havent been to egypt yet, you havent had that multiple orgasm you always wanted yet, you have never bungee jumped, you dont have your powerbike yet, were bo le! bo le! i listened, i got off!

OKADA! roughride me to my junction please, ill walk home. but dont ride too hard, i don want to be riding you and definitly not hard...its been a long day. thank God i took the okada, traffic was horrible. 9.30 i got home, had a bath, ironed, oga sorry popc came back wanted my mind Mr oga cant you see im tired? we were in the office all day together sebi you came to my department and saw me working?

"yes sa" i made him food, packed my bag,finally went to bed at midnight, i was up to the office 2hrs later... i need to sleep!

Nigerians are not happy.


exschoolnerd said...


this girl u are a real craze person...gosh i was reeling with laughter in the cafe and pesin been they stare lik sey i don craze....i am coming bck to leave more comments..first let me bring people here to come and laff.

Kaydee said...

Girl!!!!!! U've got mad skills.Keep doing ur thang.

יש (Yosh) said...

"...plantain have cost, fuel is coster, no food, university is slow, they have tif all our money..."

lmao! What an anticlimax...

Interesting joint...