All those are born in October stand up stand up!

For starters, I'm grateful for the calls, text messages and mails.

I'm grateful for the comments, the words of advice, I'm grateful for them all.

Last year, I sat in my room, the eve of my birthday, sad. midnight I started to cry as though I was an egbere (those mythical creatures that are said to crfy once you take their mats which supposedly supply wealth to the taker of the mat or somin of the sort) I cried till my eyes were bloodshot (take note Im not a crying person usually)

it seemed everything was wrong, all my plans, you know the ones that I made when I was sixteen? well they weren't going according to book, I wasn't married, didn't have no kid, my career wasn't where I wanted it to be couldn't afford a trip on my own, couldn't as much as do half the things I had thought I could do. My friend called, the one whom in my previous post I said has relocated? well he called and told me

"Bad, you be fool! wetin dey cry you? you never marry so?

you no get pikin so? ehn you no get the kin money wey you want and so diafore?

you dey hung? you no get cloth? okay you no get your own personal motor, you dey waka?no be cab you dey enter? your padis no dey carry you? I say you be fool.
na water plenty for ya eye, you no know wetin dey do you. needless to say I believed him and stopped crying but at the back of my mind I know what was going on there.

Happy Birthday to me I thought and wept some more.

later in the day I had a real reason to cry. you see last year I spent the day in a home in my neighbourhood, I saw children not up to a year old who didn't have hands, feet, who couldnt talk, crawl let alone stand, they had done nothing to no one yet they suffered so much so so much pain...I truly was a fool. babies whose mothers had discarded them like garbage, who hadnt been given a chance...I mean call me fool again.

me wey don fork fork fork, abuse abuse abuse, tif meat for pot, seduce man, coveted my neighbors convertible, said "I swear to God" me wey don lie "Im in London when i truly was in Osapa London, na so dem dey roam phone? me wey don fight my momsie tire, me who had said it wasnt me when truly it was, Me who had worked on the sabbath, place less important things before he who is all knowing, me wey dey watch people fight add salt and pepper join "EHN! did you hear what he said? if na me I go SLAP AM!" me the sinner.

God had blessed me in short over blessed me and yet I was still sad, everybody dont call me Timaya or badder call me fool!"

even as I sit in the same spot as I was last year, with the same situations as in I trip e be like say I'm in pause mode, even as I stay here wondering and getting close to tears again as to when stuff will move for me, I kneel and sing thank you Lord, I really am blessed beyond measure, I might not have it all but I have him!

My birthday comes a day after Naapali's, in exactly 10days, I am not excited as I used to be as a child but lord knows I am grateful, no matter what I face ESPECIALLY when trouble comes my way I will praise the lord.

So Naapali...all those are born in October, Stand up, Stand up!