Am I insane?

I picked out my wedding gown today,

e be like say I don crase.

My friend TS is a designer, I had gone over to his in the evening and said jokingly "TS I wan sew dress" its a recurring joke that came from this girl he jisted me about that had sewn her dress in faith.

"Ha stop laughing o! Bad, she is getting married o!"

how? I ask

She met some guy who is begging to marry her, big boi, oil company yadi yadi ya!

I wonder who is laughing now? the girl wey trust God sew dress down or me wey dey laff am?

My friend TS encouraged me to look through the dresses on the laptop, I fell in love with one.

BEAUTIFUL, Simple, Nice, Just like me.

We proceeded to talking about my plans, what I had in mind, while we were jisting two girls join us, they are picking out dresses as well, gettin married April and May respectively.

"Are you getting married" one of them ask me

"yes she is" TS answers on my behalf

Im sniggering, cant control my laughter

She hears my plans and is asking for an IV on the spot.

"they are not ready yet" TS tells her

she says once its out, I should Pass one to her, when is it she asks

"We are looking at August" TS answers I was besides myself with laughter.

they left, I felt stupid, It felt right...it felt as though I was doing what I was meant to be doing, picking a dress, bouquet, bridesmaids dress, cake, Iv's Program the works.

It felt sooo right.

3rd Day of 2009

I met Mr Man, its scary we have so many things in common down to we use the same type of phone, studied the same course, go the same places, listen to the same people, have the same dream car, wore the same type of wrist watch! and we just met. ITS SO FREAKING SCARY!

I dont feel wrong at all, chics you know that thing you feel at the back of your mind telling you "but but but", well aint no buts wit this one, for the first time NO BUTS!

He thinks I'm all that and a bag of chips...who me?

Well...I am.

I think he is exciting, and a complete gentleman.

God is shocking me already this 2009 O!

If Im wrong well shit happens, God has a bigger plan for us all.

If I'm not then this would be a story to tell.

Wrong or right God has a plan for me.

My only worry is how my moms will pronounce his name, he isn't Yoruba.

Whichever ways I'm going to take TS's advise and not doubt the almighty.

peoples am I insane? am I losing it? Am I normal? what is wrong with me? I never ever even thought seriously about settling down. I was always just willing to have fun, the next crush, the next Shag, and now I'm picking out a dress am I completely losing it?

where is Naapali when you need him?

I'm off to write my wedding program.

Thank You.

Dear Lord,

I appreciate

Say I enter '09

Some Started the journey before us, others with us, some others after us

they haven't made it this far.

For all the pain I thank you, for it is just a reminder that no matter how many times I fall, you are there to pick me up.

For the extreme joy, I thank you, for it is a reminder that only you can make me soooo happy.

For your gifts to me I thank you, for it is a reminder that amidst the millions, billions on the earth, you still remember me

For that which you have done I thank you, for that which you have promised to do I thank you.

You ARE the awesome wonder.

For my Family and Friends, for My acquaintances and colleagues, for my blogsville family whom I love ever so much...I thank you for it is a reminder that you have surrounded me with wonderful people to make my passage on this earth a wonderful experience.

Who is like unto thee? how can I measure how much you mean to me? How can I say thank you?

All glory ALL honour ALL power be unto you O lord Forever and ever.

Surely I will trust you, Surely you will send me Help from your sanctuary, Surely 2009 will be my best year YET.

Glory Be to your Name, Oyigiyigi, Oba Ogo, Lion of Judah, Rose Of Sharon, Prince of Peace, lily of the Vally, Jehovah El Shaddai, Kingi Kingi, Balm Of Gilead, My Saviour, My life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLES.

Almost Christmas.

My personal people first things first, Make una no vex, time no too dey my side.

wrapping up on stuff, CPB don turn crase, she has been showing up unexpectedly, letting herself in while my guy is asleep, tried raping him a couple of times, asked people to please excuse them so they can fork, cooking my guy food, walking in and making herself comfortable kinda shit, yes o! she don turn stalker.

My guy is not such a nice guy though, he disses her every opportunity he gets, telling her how dense she is et al.

the girl go quiet, Call the next day saying she knows he didn't really mean all he said yesterday and she forgives him. WAHALA!

when we finally bounce her I go let una know. lol

On a thankful side, GOD did the biggest for me a couple of days ago. I thank him for it. make una join me thank Baba J o! as in he fulfilled my innermost desire and fought for me when humans tried to pull me down. truly, who God has blessed no man can curse. I asked for 10 things, I have gotten two don't mean I wont dance like David Danced. (no its nothing you are thinking, I haven't been proposed to don't ask what Just thank him for me.)

When it comes to Man, I have not been totally honest with yall, okay not dishonesty, just time. I just didn't have time to blog about him and before I could, he don hurt me waka.

That that don't kill me only makes me stronger abi?

We kinda hooked up real quick, (he used ogboju o!) he was everything I wanted and much more, one day a couple of weeks later, he decided to get back with the ex. leaving me feeling like I had just been duped,419ed S'all gud ainnit? I hurt but I was alright, my question remains though

"why the hell did you now bother me in the first place?"

God bless him for making hurt.

I hung out with Ade from a couple of posts ago, Harmless flirting, remember him? well apparently just ex boyfie saw us, was at the same place as we us, I didn't see him, he had his fill watching us. funnily enough all the while I was with Ade I kept thinking about just ex boyfie can you imagine?

He calls me that night number blocked and tries to form activity, I hung up. he called back and tried to apologize, I wasn't listening, the next day, I called him and cursed him well, "Fuck you Fuck you and Fuck you" I say, truth is I'm usually quiet when it comes to man issue and his wahala so that was shocking for him I guess, he wants us to hook up so we can 'talk' as no be phone jist.

NO! I say

'you dont have a choice' he says

"Yes I do"

"okay you do, just please lets talk"

I want to yet I don't want to. I miss him soo bad yet he was the one who hurt me. na wa o!

ke sera sera.

Okay for Christmas, I want Baroque on a platter...Maybe not.

for Christmas, I would please like a new laptop. God will do am.

I also want to love and be loved.

finally I would like a MAN to fork my brains out. ouch did I say that? well I no sabi lie, twould be nice if a man who loved me actually did, it would be more than nice....

Maybe I should just stick to wanting a laptop.

Merry Christmas peoples, I love you guys!

Another mini series-Crazy Psychotic Bitch.

Now I had to wait for permission to be able to blog about this...and Now I can,
I also had to travel a distance to get this jist first hand, the things I do for gbeborun. lol. enjoy.

My friend has been single for some time now well not exactly single, miss wifey has been in Jand for a bit leaving Mr Brother all hard and dry and in need of a good good lay, well he sure has been singing it into our ears for a while now such that we started to pray he find someone just as horny as he was, well our prayers were answered or where they?

You see, Mr Bro works in a bank, so this particular day, this 'customer' comes searching for a colleague, Mr Bro with his eyes filled with spermatozoa claims to have seen nothing but her booty, well long and short Mr Colleague passes Crazy psychotic bitch henceforth CPB to Mr Bro. ho ho ho merry Christmas!

Well he calls her up last Saturday morning, just for small talk by 6.30 shes in Lekki on her way to his crib 7.30 they are watching Prison Break already...8.30 she hungry fine no shakings lets go grab some food...

she drops her Bag behind...hmmm?

Drive to the eatery, she orders Take away...hmmmm?

Drive Back to his place, 10.30 already aint no way bitch (his words not mine) is going home tonight. mind y'all Mr Bro is still blind in the eye abi?

okay so she eating, he watching P break, they having a conversation when all of a sudden she leans in and kisses him.

"what the hell was that for"? he asks

"Just saying thank you is all"

"Bitch all I bought was rice, if I threw in a burger, what would you give me?"

she done eating in a bit and then they start some real real rough play when suddenly...

She putting up resistance

we shouldn't be doing this, I don't want to get hurt,I just broke up with my boyfriend, I don't want this yet.

WTF?

Bitch please, you knew you was going to get laid thats why you dropped your purse and didnt go home. alright Im not in d mood for this, what side of the Bed you want? fine

GBAM! My guy crashes. I'm too old for this bull shit he's thinking.

The end?

Ye right!

My guy says at about 2ish, he feels Junior start to stir. eyes open CPB in her birthday suit, jacking him off .

"Wait a minute, thought you said you didn't want this..."

"Well Just for tonight, I want to feel loved, just tonight, I always do the right things, Just tonight, i want to be bad"

"Well Bitch I dont care if you want to be Micheal Jackson, GET OVER HERE"

with some mortal Kombat moves...

He fucked her with reckless abandon

his words not mine.

She cried, he wasn't even listening "wait" he didn't "take it easy" he didn't "please don't stop!" he didn't

"Bad, it was for me, all for me, I didn't care if she came or not, I just needed mine, the girl was talking bullshit, I couldn't care less...I forked her!"

I felt bad for the girl until I heard the rest of the jist.

Well that session ended and he crashed, morning came time to look at the girl better...ewww! DISCHARGE TIME only she wasn't leaving.

So he is on his laptop waiting for girl to go take a bath and bounce when she comes and grabs his deeck

" Last night was for you, this is mine" she proceeds to forking him but my guy na bad guy, he no gree starts to deal with with her again, dayyum she ugly...TURN AROUND girl (Im told that works all the time) so he's hitting it form the back till she yells

"TELL ME YOU LOVE ME"

"Bad talk about a deeck going soft, I lost it meen, it just shriveled meen"

so he uses everything but his deeck, bitch come and come and go...

she came, once, twice, the third time, he puts his deeck back in and she comes the fourth time (Bravo bravo bravo!) he feels like givving himself a apt on the back only problem is she aint leaving after that...that amaaazzing fork.

Wahala!

My guy says she swept his WHOLE apartment, dusted, did the dishes, carried FOUR 25 litres kegs of water effortlessly from DOWNSTAIRS...

Made him Fork her yet again...in the shower!

AH!

the phone calls were crazy.

"Bad where you dey? I beg you dey come my house now now! I need help o!"

I couldn't make it. somehow somehow with the help of another friend of ours he got rid of CPB.

you would think thats the end of the story, Na lie!

Im tired jo

Wash out for part 2!

Meeting KAY SHAWN.

"you are only crazy about the cunning linguist because you havent met me"

this was waiting patiently for my approval, stupid boy that Kayshawn, making mouth virtually. lol

would I like to meet another blogger?

honestly I really dunno. ironically I have had but a bad experience with a blogger, its just one blogger Im not in touch with after having met, not mine fault guys not mine at all.

Okay someone asked where Ozaveshe is on my page, the boy hasnt come to comment so as to make the story sweet. well in his words, the cunning linguist is carefully thinking on what to write, well while he is thinking, I have written another post. lol

Oza and I are slowly building our friendship, he really is a very good friend to have, and I really am lucky to have him as a friend and vice versa, unfortunately, well for those who got popcorn waiting to see a love story unfold and fortunately for you Bumight who wants him for herself, we that is Oza and I are gravitating towards an extremely platonic friendship/relationship dont get it twisted he really is all that and a bag of chips and we all know I am hot while you are not lol but really, I see us as extremely good friends, which is what we seem to be, what we are getting at.

there are some people you respect too much to want to spoil it all with sex, well Oza is one of em, its been what? 3weeks? but ehn even I dont understand it our level of friendship .

so if you want Oza? see me, I fit to organise the sometin.

Im sure Baroque would be happy reading this, cuz I know he wants me scratch that needs me hehehehe

Kayshawn. wait your turn and join the queue jo! lol

Happy new month peoples, I miss yall loads, especially Mz Dee.

like Geisha said...On the first day of christmas....

All ye male bloggers.

I hereby declare that bloggers should start acting with sense and hooking up with female bloggers!

this is totally unfair!

how dare you be good looking and not tell us single sister bloggers? for the record I AM NOT YOUR SISTER.

unless ofcourse you are Naapali.

Okay shall I stop ranting and raving already you ask?

I met this really cute guy yesterday, trust me sharp girl wey no dey carry last I don fall in quick quick, as a sharp gal, start to dey follow the boy talk phonee, all the English wey dey my mouth. and as Rkelly talk am, Im a flirt!

ol boy, one Man dey wait me for left, another dey wait me for right, but noooo who was this cuuuute guy in blue, my fafrite color like Suliat said.

We talk for a bit, I have to go and I tell him as much.

ME: So its about time we ended the conversation

Him: okay guess we see some other time

Me: they didnt teach you well, if they taught you well you would have known that I meant lets continue this conversation in a bit?

Him: o! okay let me give you my card

Me: and mine

Him: lets go to my car to get my card

me: why dont you go get it so I get mine out as well.

he goes to his car, I wish I could say I go to mine but I just walked to my friends car to get my card out of my bag.

Ashawo

I know.

at that time, I had forgotten ALL OTHERS! may God forgive me my sins that are many, especially the sins of the flesh.

the boy was fyne! as in sexy with sexy shirt, eyes, voice, smile whats more, he seemed to be digging me. like my friend will say, May I not carry Last AMIN!

na so the boy come back o, we exchanged cards, he bounced, I did too. end of story or so I thought.

I got home and looked at the card... Tom OZAVESH smith...

Ozavesh ke?

what were the odds that...

e gba mi ooooooooooo!

could it be?.........

peraps?.......

I picked up my fone sharp sharp

"Are you home yet?""I ask him

who is this he asks me

you were supposed to have been on your way home from spot x

HI Chic

okay I have a question for you...

Are you a blogger?

yes

Are you the cunning linguist?

yes

Are you a blogger he asks me

yes

who are you?

Im not telling I say

needless to say at the end of the night, the boy found out I was the one and only Badderchic. sadly too cuz now he doesnt respect me anymore he has seen my yansh finish. lol

"eeeeeeeeeeee you were now making me talk plenty plenty english, If I had known it was you badderchic, I for no bother, all those things you wrote, did they really happen? ah! you are a bad girl..."and so the talk went on.

you male bloggers are wicked people, yes I said it. especially you the cunning linguist you are very very very wicked.

HOW DARE you be fine, single and sexy as fuck, and you dont think to be toasting female bloggers ehn? we are from different walks of life yet we are all so close, you know wussup and you are still forming?

tunda faya all of you!

the girls are vexing!

which kin boolsit is tis? Enigma fine but engaged okay no problem, Fineboyagbero fine but monkey, okay no problem, charizard Im older than you so gerraway! but Cunning linguist? NImmo, Jaja, Porter, Baroque, Jaguda the other male bloggers all of you RUBBISH!

Ozavesh

I told you last night, Im saying it again, you are the one I have been waiting for you see all those other boys I blogged about well, that was just me being creative, they were all a figment of my imagination ( GOd will forgive me ) sweetheart I know you have seen my yansh finish but truth be told, I have equally seen yours. dont form for me o! because you told me last night that it has teyed that you have been shadowing me, scoping me, you were wondering why you hadnt just stepped since, you see if you had acted sharply alot of those previous posts wouldnt have come to life but it is alright, you can make it up to me, what did we say now? Brunch?

Cunning linguist, because you and I have have been virtual friends I will do you the favour of not making you join the queue, you have special reservations, what do you say cutie? you game?

what is it with me and all these bois sef? I like the soap i have been using to baf o!

Harmless flirting.

Well thats what I thought it was...harmless flirting.

Ive known him a couple of months

I have always flirted with him, even with a guy by mine side and a girl by his.

I really dont...didnt care.

Out for drinks at this spot one evening, with a lot of pips, I went into the bathroom, it was huge, first thing that came to mind, 'twould be nice to do somin naughty in here'

He was the first person I saw as I stepped out, wow Ade, that bathroom is huge, corridor then bathrooms, away from the world, I could snog in there.

"lets see" he said we went in

"lets snog" he said... I ran!

harmless flirting I said it was, well I thought it was

somehow, there was conflict with a mutual friend, we got thrown together, we worked together, it got sorted, I realized I had the hots for him, he had realised earlier than me.

whats with me and all this bois sef?

I just got rid of Baldy, annoying with all his rubbish talk, I just got rid of the crush as well, disgusting the way he handled it when I told him I liked him, acted like a real pisshead.

Ade and I laughed over Crush, nope didnt tell him bout baldy.

harmless flirting we said.

He picks me from work, we are going to meet mutual friend, on the way we fight, slap, fight some more, hit, sulk...actually I did all that

"stop Im driving" he says

"apologise" I say

"for what?" he laughs

I slap him some more, its an estate so its aiight to play while driving, he's going slow anyways.

"I hate you" I tell him

" no you dont" he says

"Apologise"

"NO!"

I sulk for about 10 mins

" Okay sorry" he says

"say it like you mean it"

"I mean it"

"accepted" I say, I move to kiss him on his cheek, he gives me his lips

what is it with me and these boys I wonder

I act as though I didnt notice, kiss him on the cheek he says someting seemingly foolish again, I hit his hand he holds onto mine hands, no one is holding the steering. I take over, he works the pedals, I work the wheel. to our destination.

"that was fun" I say

"you are fun" he says

there for a bit, time to go, outside, waiting for mutual friend, he holds my face, says,

"Im going to come 80% why dont you do the 20"...

I did

we kissed.

his lips taste like pistachio and chocolate, my fav flavors, his lips, so succulent, makes me want more.

I have the hots for him, he does for me too. his longer than mind if I might add, he knew I had a crush on crush, he had the hots for me even then.

I don't want to date him, I cant, too many mutual friends, too many questions

we have the hots for each other though.

so we are going to keep kissing.

How long is this one going to last I wonder

what is it with me and these boys sef?

Harmless flirting indeed.


N.b
My peoples Im going to try update at least once every 2wks, busy busy busy. guys please refer to Jeremy's Blog for updates on the Uzoma Okere issue, Ive decided to Volunteer, Im going to help fight injustice, who's with me?